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Hannah stepped out of her court-appointed counselor’s office and walked over to where I sat in the waiting room. I stood and whispered to her, “Anything you need to tell me?”
My sister rolled her eyes. “No.”
“Okay. Wait for me here.”
Dr. Friedman couldn’t have been much older than me. This was the second time we’d come for my sister’s new Saturday-morning appointment, but the first time she’d asked to speak to me.
She closed her office door behind us and extended a hand to the couch. “Please, make yourself comfortable.”
I sat hesitantly. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Everything is fine. Hannah is a wonderful girl.”
“Oh.” I blew out a worried breath. “Thank God.”
She took the seat across from me with a warm smile. “Hannah gave me permission to speak to you. I generally do a few individual counseling sessions and then start family therapy. When a minor is removed from the custody of a parent, we use the group sessions to open up lines of communication between the child and parent. But Hannah has expressed that she doesn’t want her mother to participate in the family-counseling sessions.”
I frowned. “She’s very mad at her.”
Dr. Friedman nodded. “Hannah would like to have you come instead.”
“Is that allowed?”
“There are no set rules for counseling. Our goal is to rebuild trust with the custodial parent. When children are removed from a parent’s custody, they usually have feelings of abandonment, even after the parent returns. Our sessions are an outlet for the child to acknowledge how they feel, validate that their concerns are real, and to begin to work through what can be done to rebuild the broken trust. If we don’t repair damaged bonds, childhood abandonment issues can develop into serious mental-health conditions later in life. Studies show that youths who learned to fear abandonment struggle more with anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues. It also can affect adult relationships—leading to a persistent fear or rejection with a mate. It’s not uncommon for adults with unresolved issues to have difficulty committing to relationships.”
“I see…”
“I think some family therapy will help Hannah. Hopefully she will be open to her mother coming at some point, but for now she talks mostly about you.”
I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but I supposed getting her talking was half the battle. “Okay. Whatever I can do to help.”
“Great. Thank you.” She folded her hands on her lap. “Before we all meet together, it would be helpful for me to know your status.”
“My status?”
She nodded. “Hannah seems to think you’re leaving soon. She mentioned you’re going to have your own family to deal with.”
I closed my eyes. God, as if these kids didn’t have it bad enough with Vera for a mother—now they start to trust me, and I’m being noncommittal, too. My eyes welled up.
Dr. Friedman grabbed the tissue box next to her and leaned forward.
“Thank you.” I plucked two out and blotted my eyes. “I’m pregnant. I feel terrible that I haven’t been able to assure my sister and brother that I’m sticking around. My life is out in California, or at least it was when I came to New York to stay with them. My work is there, my apartment, my friends… But now I’m not sure what I’m doing. And I’m afraid I may be making things worse with Hannah and Heath. If I leave them, they’re going to feel like they can’t depend on me, either.”
“It sounds like you have a lot on your plate.”
“I do, but I don’t want the stuff going on in my life to hurt my siblings.”
She nodded. “I think some sessions to discuss how you’re both feeling would be good for you and your sister. I sense that Hannah might be pulling away from you, preparing herself for your departure.”
“She has been more distant lately, quieter and keeping to herself. I thought it was because her mother is back.”
“Children with abandonment issues expect everyone in their life to disappear. So they’re often afraid to love.”
I felt that statement deep in my chest. “I’ll do whatever I can to help Hannah.”
Dr. Friedman smiled. “Great. Why don’t you plan to join us for next week’s session, then?”
“Okay.”
