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I looked down at the book, lying splayed on the floor. “They are monstrous, but that isn’t you.”
He poured the hot water into his cup and stirred his tea. “What if it is?”
“Where is this coming from? You know you’re not like them.”
“How doyouknow?”
“I just do. Last night, for one, but before that, I’ve always known you.” I reached for him, but he flinched away and marched across the room, putting distance between us. He was pushing me away, like he pushed everyone away. “I do not know much, but I know the fae are fueled by greed and desire. They do not care who they hurt to satisfy their needs. That is not you, Devere.”
He sat at his workstation with his back to me and began working on Hush’s remains. Where was this coldness coming from? He’d been so warm and giving, so open and carefree. I couldn’t be the only one to feel as though our love had grown because of it.
“Last night was a wonder,” I said quietly. “We will stop him—Adair. We will end this nightmare he’s trapped you in. Just because he gave you life doesn’t mean he owns you. Parents do not own their children. Mine did not own me—”
“Iwill stop him,” he muttered.
“How?”
“I’ll speak with him.”
“Speak with him?” I laughed. “Forgive me, but it seems as though you may have tried that before with questionable results.”
“It is different this time,” he said dismissively.
“Why?”
“It just is. Get dressed. I cannot concentrate on fixing Hush knowing you are naked beneath that gown.”
I glared at his back. A back I’d kissed and licked all the way down and felt quiver under my hands. “I love you, but you truly are a frustrating prick at times, Devere.”
As I turned away, I heard his whispered, parting words. “If only that were all I was.”
I hurried back upstairs and dressed. He’d welcomed me with a kiss, but something had soured his mood. What had triggered him?
The book.
His mood had changed the moment he’d seen it. Did he know the answers I sought within it?
“Tell me about the fae,” I said after returning to the workshop. “Tell me everything.”
“I cannot do that and fix Hush. Which would you have me do first?”
Why was he making this difficult? “You know about them, but you won’t tell me. Do you think I am so weak that I cannot bear the weight of such knowledge? Do you think it’ll break me? I am already broken—”
He glanced up, then back down to Hush, and in that quick look, his eyes had saddened again. “Val, I do not think you’re broken—”
“You have no idea what I went through to get here, to get back to you. Months, I spent in that asylum hellhole. I am not mad. You have no idea the things they did to me—”
“Stop!” He set his tools aside and stared down at the messy workbench. His cheek twitched.
“We can fix this together, don’t you see? Every time we go around, we begin apart, separate from each other. Adairwantsus apart. He knows we are stronger together. What if we go to him, together, and we demand he stops this insanity—”
“That is not what he wants.”
“No?” I moved to his side, but still he kept his head down. Why wouldn’t he look at me? “Tell me what you know. Tell me so we can end this.Thisis different.This timeis different. Last night was different.” I braced a hand on the workbench beside him and leaned in, giving him no choice but to see me and see I wasn’t giving up on this, on us. “You are different. Something has changed. Something you’re not telling me.”
He huffed and leaned back in his chair. “I do not know nearly as much as you think I do. I read the book you found and learned of the fae from Jacapo. That is all. They are as alien to me as they are to you.”
I stepped back and threw up my hands. “Then begin there. The book.” I scooped it off the floor. “This book. It appears in every go-around. It has told me the fae exist. You have read it, so you can tell me what I need to know.” I tossed the book onto his workbench, making the pieces of toys jump. “Help me understand, Devere.”
