Page 40 of Snowed In with My Best Friend's Dad
"He lives his life and I live mine. And thankfully, mine won’t involve a kid anytime soon. Right now, I never thought I'd be so glad to have my period.”
"No doubt."
"Well, I’ll let you rest. I'm going over to Liam's with the good news.”
"Have fun. Use birth control.”
She laughed.
I turned over to rest, but a thought intruded.When was my last period?
Immediately, I pushed away the concern. There was no way I could be pregnant. It was more likely the stress of lying to my friend. Stress of being swept up by a jerk like Brett. The stress of finishing school. Wasn't that why I was taking the weekend off? I snuggled back into bed.
But the niggle of doubt remained, making it hard to go back to sleep. There was only one way to settle my nerves. I had to take a pregnancy test.
I threw off my covers in exasperation and headed to the shower. After I cleaned up and dressed, I put on my coat, hat, and gloves, and headed out into the cold February day. The heater in my car worked, but it took about ten minutes to warm the interior. I decided to go to a pharmacy in another part of town. I didn't need to see anyone I knew as I bought a pregnancy test.
Pulling my hat low, I entered the store and found the aisle with the tests. To be sure of the result, I bought two, looking around to make sure no one was watching, then picking up the tests and heading to the self-checkout.
On the way home, I stopped at a drive-thru coffee joint. For a moment, I worried about having caffeine if I was pregnant. But no, I couldn't be pregnant, so I ordered a large mocha with whipped cream.
When I got home, I made sure Lindsay hadn't returned, then went to the bathroom.
"This is ridiculous." I opened the boxes and followed the directions. I let them sit as I went back to my room and changed out of jeans and a sweater, back into sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt. By the time I was ready to settle back into my lazy day, I'd talked myself into believing I was overreacting.
I returned to the bathroom to toss the tests. I picked up the tests and opened the door under the sink where the trash was kept. As my hand hovered over the waste bin, that niggle of doubt returned. With a huff of annoyance at my silliness, I looked at one of the tests.
Pregnant.
I froze. There had to be a mistake. I checked the other test.
Pregnant.
I sank down on the toilet seat in disbelief. This couldn't be happening.
Still in denial, I returned to my room, grabbing my phone and searching the Internet for the efficacy of pregnancy tests. I was dismayed to learn they were highly accurate. Then I researched birth control, wondering if my brand of pills had been recalled for being defective. No, they hadn't.
What I did learn was that the low dose pills I was on to regulate my period could be less effective if not taken regularly. I always took my pill, although not always at the same time each day. Like at the cabin, when, instead of getting up from Brett's arms in front of the fire, I took the pill the next morning.
Oh, God.
I sank back into bed. No matter what I did, from this moment on, my life would change.
I ran through all the possible choices and decisions in front of me. I couldn't imagine giving my baby up for adoption, but this wasn't just about me. I had a child to think about. I wasn't an incapable woman, but at this point in my life, could I give a child what they needed? There were couples out there wanting to be parents who couldn’t. They’d give my baby a good home. The problem I discovered was that Brett would need to be involved in the adoption. So that option was out. Looked like I was going to be a parent.
The biggest barrier was financial, which I knew Brett could help with.
Leave me the fuck alone.
I let out a strangled laugh at the memory of Brett's words mixed with my current situation. I could only imagine the heinous words he'd come up with if I told him I was pregnant.
I didn't have to tell him, did I? I suppose I should, but he'd accuse me of trapping him or deny paternity. Chances were good he’d offer me money to go away. Maybe I could use the money to raise the baby.
By the end of the day, I’d ruminated over every possible scenario. It was interesting how the terror of an unplanned pregnancy could change into excitement. Well, maybe not excitement, but by the time I went to bed, I was resolved to keep my baby. I'd grown to love the tiny being forming inside me. I didn't know how I’d manage it, but I’d start figuring it out tomorrow.
The next day, I woke up afraid but determined to finish school, have my baby, and live a happy life. The first issue I needed to figure out was could I finish school while pregnant? I decided this was yes, since I'd only be five or six months pregnant at graduation. I knew women worked until their due dates, so I could finish school.
Getting a job after graduation might be harder, although if I could teach, maybe I could find a job starting in the fall after the baby came.
