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“And now you just decided you can look at me again?”
He grabbed both my arms and slammed me into his body hard. There was no space between us, nothing to separate the outline of his erection from my stomach.
“I can’t put it into words how bad I fucking want you. I’m not going to let you get away from me,Piccolina.”
“Garon, that’s not up to you.”
“I gave Balbano the money.”
A rock the size of a truck tire dropped in my stomach. I felt no happiness and no relief because this wasn’t a ‘way out’ this was just a different problem. My mind was a battlefield where conflicted emotions clashed and exploded.
Garon was someone I loved from afar for such a long time, but he was also a man with power and connections. There was no surprise that Tony liked the idea on getting on his good side, but why did I have to be the bargaining chip? Part of me wanted to scream, to rail against this cruel twist of fate because even if my heart desired many things from Garon, I never wanted to be in his debt. His body might desire me, but sooner or later his code of honor would remind him that hating the Bernoulli family was more important.
I longed for independence, but there was a small voice in the back of my head—one that needed to be shut—that whispered about a distant and utopic possibility where this could be my new start. I wanted to trust him, but relying on Garon’s mercy and protection was too big of a gamble.
The weight of that debt hung heavy on my shoulders, threatening to suffocate me. Other people’s choices had pushed me into a game with no winners, just survivors, and this was the time to choose how I would play my hand.
I looked at Garon’s eyes and then at the sky that was matching their color, taking a deep breath, assimilating the fact that my life was changing again.
“Garon, what did you do?Whydid you do it?”
“You make me repeat myself, Pina.” He sighed. “I want you and Balbano was in my way.”
“You bought me.” The disappointed whisper came straight from my heart.
“You needed help, Pina. It doesn’t matter how stubborn you are, you must know you aren’t safe.”
“Why? Because Tony might have forced me to be a whore so you decided to make me yours? You think that’s helping me?”
“What are you talking about?” His voice was laced with annoyance.
“You gave Tony money and now you expect me to sleep with you?” He diminished the memories I saved of our time together by putting a price of them.
Garon dragged his thumb across my bottom lip. “I’ll take care of you and you’ll give me peace.” What? “I need you, Pina. You said it yourself, there was a time when you wanted me too. Is that all gone?”
No, it wasn’t, but it didn’t change anything.
“I’m not something you can buy and play with until you’re bored.”
“I can’t get bored of this. You give me clarity.” I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Nothing changes, Garon. You might have bought my debt, but you didn’t buy me. I’ll get your damn money back.”
“I don’t want…”
“I don’t care what you want! I’ll work and get you the money and when I’m done, please, leave me the hell alone.”
“No, you won’t.” He said and his face turned to stone, losing all expression. “You’ll never set foot in that place again, Pina, I made sure of it.”
“What?”
“I won’t have you serving drinks naked in a brothel. Period.”
“But I need the job.”
“No, you don’t. I don’t want your money, I just want you.”
Every time he said it, I felt smaller.
