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She understood my panic, and that was odd for me. Most people didn’t get it…not the teachers, when they couldn’t place where my kid was if I randomly showed up to pick them up. Not their doctors, who didn’t understand why I was so adamant that they not allow Lacey to call and ask about her kids records. No one understood this fear that rattled my chest and tore at my soul on a regular basis. No one got that it was like fighting in the ring: A darkness clouded my vision, and survival kicked in, making it to where no one else but my kids mattered.
Somehow Haley understood.
I glanced back toward Nora’s house on instinct, unsure how I would go about fixing this. That hug and the sad way she pulled away from me tugged at my chest. I owed her an apology.
“I know.” I swallowed, looking down. “I’m sorry…it won’t happen again.”
Colson flicked his gaze to my car where my girls were waiting, and he seemed to soften.
“You know I would never let anything happen to them.”
I nodded, I did know that, but… “You’re busy right now, distracted, and at the end of the day, it’s not you who has to worry about them. Not completely. You love them, but I’m the one who keeps them safe. It’s on me if something happens.”
I had to get home. I needed to calm down, hug my girls, and get reassurance that they were okay.
Stepping away from my friend, I waved him off. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
With one last glance at the door that swallowed Haley up, I got into my truck.
“Daddy, why are you so mad?” Mila was the first to ask, always chomping at the bit.
Maddy turned around from her spot in front to scold her little sister, but Seraph beat her to the punch.
“Yeah, what did Haley do wrong? We heard you yelling at her.” Seraphina asked, sounding guarded. Seraph was the easiest going out of the group, and it took a lot to get her interested or upset about something.
Shit, I had my work cut out for me. I had fucked up in a big way.
“Nothing. She didn’t do anything. Daddy just had a bad day.”
The silence stretched as I navigated the streets. We lived just a few blocks from Colson, so it didn’t take long to pull into our driveaway. I helped the girls out of the car and couldn’t help noticing once again that their hair all looked silky and shiny, like Haley’s always did. Once we were inside, the girls kicked their boots off and shed their coats.
“So…what did you do today?” I asked, trying to fix what I’d messed up.
Each one of my girls was somber and seemed sad, their faces drawn in tight, heads lowered as they fixated on putting their stuff away. Which they never did…
“Come on, guys, I’m sorry…talk to me,” I begged, loosening the tie I’d been wearing all goddammed day.
Maddy finally huffed and looked up at me. “She took us to a fancy spa. They washed our hair, gave us fluffy robes—”
“Painted our faces!” Mila joined in, talking over Maddy.
Seraph added, “We got to wear cucumbers on our eyes, it was cool.”
Wow…she had to have spent a fortune.
“Then we ate lunch, and it was so cool!” Maddy regained the conversation, eyeing her sisters, daring them to interrupt again.
Seraph ignored Maddy’s warning. “There was a fountain, and this view of Mount Macon that was really pretty, and she gave us money to make wishes!”
I tucked my boots under the bench near the door. I had worn nicer shoes in the meetings, but honestly it didn’t make a lick of difference with how those men saw me.
Not a safe bet.
Too much of a risk.
“Wow, sounds like you had fun.”
“Haley’s nice. She doesn’t act like she only likes us for your sake. She’s not like those other women you’ve made us meet.”
