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“To do other things.”
“Oh.” Her voice was soft and quiet, like a gentle hurt that she wanted to hide or tuck away into herself.
“What’s going through your mind?”
Her nails curled through my belt loops; her eyes stayed on my chest. I wanted her eyes on me, but I knew this whole scenario would take some getting used to, and she might need a second.
“Do you…I mean have you? She’s very beautiful.”
Stroking her hair, I finally tipped her chin up so she was watching me.
“No, I haven’t touched her in several years. And she doesn’t look like how she used to, there’s a darkness there now that dulls how I used to view her. It’s hard to find someone attractive after all the terrible things they’ve done. They tear the lining of your heart and it just can’t be put back together.”
“What did—”
Mila’s raised voice came filtering down, breaking into our conversation. She was standing with her older sister at the top of the stairs, making both Haley and my head turn to the side.
When the screaming and yelling hit a level we didn’t think they’d work through, we left the kitchen, and I broke into their argument.
“Hey, what if I rocket ship you up the stairs?” I perched with my arms on either side of the wall, looking up at the top of the steps. Both girls immediately stopped arguing and turned their heads.
“Can we do Spaceship night?” Mila asked, rubbing at her eye.
Seraphina perked up excitedly. “Yes, Spaceship night!”
Haley stepped up from behind me, curious.
“What is Spaceship night?”
“Daddy rocket ships us up the stairs, all the way to his bed. Then we turn on a space movie and we pretend we’re in a spaceship. Daddy always pretends to be the captain and makes his voice sound like he’s talking into a radio, and if he sees an asteroid, he shakes the bed.”
I rubbed my neck, slightly blushing. My kids loved Spaceship, and after Lacey left it was one of the only ways to calm them down and keep them distracted. Some nights, I’d let them eat dinner in my bed, just to keep them from crying.
“Haley has to be in our spaceship too! She could be a navigator!” Mila yelled, pointing at Haley.
“Okay, all right. We’ll do it. Who’s up first?” I stretched my arms across my chest. I was getting too old for this, but so were they, and we wouldn’t be able to do this much longer. I’d risk a strained muscle if it meant I could see them smile.
Mila ran down the stairs, wearing a brand-new pair ofFrozenpajamas I had never seen. Either Cole or Haley must have bought them for her.
“Me first!” Mila jumped into my arms.
I secured her to my back, and then made rocket sounds and ran up the stairs as fast as I could, smiling as Mila laughed and squealed. Then I ran down the hall, still sounding like I was a spaceship and tossed her on my bed. It was freshly made with clean sheets, thanks to Haley.
Once I jogged back down the stairs, Seraph and Maddy were waiting for me. I repeated the process with each of them, and finally they were on my bed, safe and secured. I was about to shut down all the lights and head up myself when all three girls appeared at the top of the stairs.
“You have to rocket ship Haley, too.”
My head snapped back, and Haley’s tilted up, watching the kids.
“Oh no, that’s—” Haley started but Maddy interrupted.
“If you’re going to be on our crew, the only way up is the rocket ship.”
Haley’s mouth parted like she was about to argue then she turned her head in my direction.
“I’m not the same size as you guys. I think that would hurt your dad.”
I coughed to cover my laugh because just last night I had held her while we fucked against the wall. In most positions, I used her like a rag doll, lifting and grabbing her in any way that I wanted to fuck her. And there were a lot of ways that I enjoyed fucking Haley. She was standing near the dresser yesterday afternoon while the kids were in school, so I lifted her until her ass was perched on the edge, ripped her shorts off and licked that pink pussy until she screamed my name.
