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Silence drifted between them. “So why did you?”
Her lips quivered again, and she bit the inside of her cheek in a vain attempt to stop them. How could they stand the guilt? How did warriors go centuries killing in one war after another knowing how they’d feel afterward?
“I couldn’t—” She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I couldn’t stand by, not when they were hurting you.”
“You’ve saved my life twice now.”
“How do you do it?” She lowered her head. “How does anyone do it? Kill and keep killing?”
Rion stared at the fire. “Maybe they feel it’ll make a difference.”
“And you?”
“I do it to survive.”
Survive. Maybe that’s part of the reason she’d done it too. If Rion had died, there was no telling if Eoghan could have taken her back home. He might have wanted to, but the other warriors would have likely fought against the idea. They might have gone as far as killing them both just to get what they wanted.
But somehow there was a deeper reason too. The very thought of Rion’s demise shook her to the core. She knew she’d kill for him long before her kidnapping. And she knew she’d do it again. But she’d also kill for Talon, for Ellie. She’d bleed out for the beautiful city of Levea if it came down to it.
“You should rest.”
“So should you.” Monster, some called him. Yet he wasn’t a monster now. Not with her. Arianna leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss to his lips before settling back into the blankets. She tried to ignore his ragged breaths.
“Can I still hold you?” he asked.
She smiled, though wasn’t sure he could see it. “Yes.” Rion scooted closer and rested his chin above her head. Hesitantly, as if unsure of himself, Rion placed his free hand over her arm. His thumb rubbed back and forth, both comforting and igniting her body all at once.
She wanted to run her fingers through his hair. To caress his face as he’d done hers. But those were things that would come with time. And she was willing to wait.
His breathing calmed and her eyelids grew heavy. Darkness beckoned and despite fearing what horrors it might hold, Arianna let it claim her.
Chapter Twenty
Arianna
Arianna woke with Rion’s hand still resting on her arm. She breathed in his scent, letting it wash away the horrible memories from yesterday. So much had happened, and she still hadn’t processed it all. What repercussions would they face? What dangers lie waiting in the distant future? How much had she stained her own soul?
Arianna glanced over her shoulder to find Rion watching her and, though it was painful, she twisted her body to face him. He gave her a soft smile and gently shifted a strand of hair from her face.
So willing, yet so tormented. He wanted to touch her, desired it as much as she did, but she could see the uneasiness in his gaze. The surprise whenever she didn’t reach out to hurt him. How long would that pain linger? And once she broke through his barriers, would he let others do the same?
Slowly, so as not to startle him, Arianna lifted one hand, palm out. Rion’s heart beat faster. Earth swirled around their bodies, and his brow furrowed in confusion.
“I promised last night, but I was hoping today might be a little different.” Understanding swept over his features, and Rion’s body tightened in response. “But only if you want to,” she assured him. Because last night, Rion had given her everything she desired without pushing boundaries. She wanted to do the same.
Tentatively, he lifted his right hand and brought it toward her own. His eyes darted back to hers then their hands. His fingertips touched first, light and timid, then Rion pressed his entire palm into hers.
Arianna stilled, letting the warmth of his hand seep into her skin. She understood the risk he was taking. He’d seen her magic rip the liquid from her enemy’s limbs yesterday. A technique that would render that appendage useless for the rest of their lives.
“There was another female once.” He kept his eyes on their hands. “I was only eighteen and somehow, she convinced me I could trust her.
“She was a warrior and we spent several months together, taking down any obstacle assigned to us. She made me laugh, guarded my back, and I grew to trust her.”
Arianna tilted her head closer to him.
“But the first time she wrapped her arms around me, she shoved a knife through my back, and I killed her. The way she looked at me in those last moments—” Rion shook his head. “I never want to see that again.”
His gaze returned to hers. “But never in my entire life has anyone saved me or risked their life for mine. Never once has anyone allowed me to touch them like this. No one. Except you.” He curled his fingers, and she entwined her hand with his. “I’m willing to try. I want to try. I just…need time.”
