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“It’s not your fault.” Amara put a hand around my shoulders and squeezed. “You can’t save every animal any more than you can save every person.”
I glanced at Nik. They both kept saying it, and I knew they were right, but I was still dreading the day I experienced losing a person. Every healer eventually had to deal with patients they couldn’t save, but thankfully they didn’t put new apprentices in those situations.
“If you start accepting it now, it’ll make it easier later,” Amara said softly, as if reading my thoughts.
“Can something like that ever be easy?” I asked.
“Not easy.” Nik reappeared from where he’d been making Phoenix a makeshift perch in the back of the cart. “Death is never easy. But healers and warriors both have to find ways not to be crippled by it.”
I looked at the ground. I didn’t want to think about what experience Nik had with death, or about the deaths to come in my own future. Today’s had been hard enough.
“You’re still young,” Amara said softly. “You’ll learn.” She turned to Nik. “I suppose you’ll be close by, Your Highness, even if you’re out of sight?”
My head snapped up. “You should join us at night.”
Amara gave me a quizzical look, but I kept my attention on Nik, remembering the person I had sensed roaming through the darkness the night before.
“Once we set up camp for the evening, if there’s no one else around, it would be safe for you to join us, wouldn’t it? I know you can’t in the villages, but when we’re camped by the road…”
Nik glanced at Phoenix, perched in the cart bed, and then back at me. I noticed he didn’t look at Amara.
“I suppose that would be safe enough.”
I turned a pleading look on Amara. “It makes more sense than setting up two camps and preparing two meals, don’t you think?”
“I think…His Highness is welcome anytime we’re alone.”
I breathed a sigh of relief, but she took a step closer to Nik and continued in a stern tone. “As long as I’m around, that is. I overlooked the other evening because Delphine was in crisis, and it’s obvious you helped her, but I think the two of you have done quite enough meeting up alone at night.”
I gulped. “So you did know I saw Nik then?”
She gave me an exasperated look. “I’m neither inexperienced nor foolish. I didn’t say anything because whatever he said seemed to help you. But I haven’t forgotten the damage done back in Ostaria and Caltor. I’m responsible for you during your apprenticeship, Delphine.”
“I understand,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean to do anything behind your back. I had no idea Nik was watching us so closely, so I didn’t even think of it, but he saw me sprinting through the fields and thought I was in trouble.”
“If it’s safe, I’ll reappear tonight.” Nik gave me a half smile, the warmth in his eyes sparking an answering warmth in me. But his fire cooled to ice as he turned to Amara and gave a barely respectful half-bow. “Tonight, then.”
Before either of us could respond, he strode away, disappearing into the trees.
“I can’t work him out,” I said quietly, staring after him. “Sometimes he seems to have changed completely, and then other times…”
“His manner masks it, but he’s still young,” Amara murmured back. “You’ve shaken him, Delphine, and he’s not used to that.”
“Me?” I turned to her. “What do you mean?”
She gathered the last of our things, checking the fire had been fully extinguished.
“Prince Nikolas has always been overly confident. From what I’ve heard, his twin sister is the only one of his peers he ever liked or respected. And his relationship with her has always been…complicated.”
“Complicated how?” I climbed onto the bench seat of the cart beside her.
She flicked the reins, sending Acorn into lurching motion. “It’s always complicated between older and younger siblings when a title is involved, let alone a crown. But it’s more complicated with twins when it’s only a matter of minutes between them.”
“Princess Morgiana is the older sibling,” I said, remembering my lessons. “But she isn’t the crown princess anymore. And Nik isn’t heir either.” I frowned. “I’ll admit when the news of the change in succession reached Tarin, I didn’t quite understand what had happened. I don’t think my parents did either, but we didn’t pay it a lot of attention. My father insisted it didn’t matter who wanted to sit in a fancy chair and lord it over the capital.”
Amara raised an eyebrow. “Who sits on the throne has an enormous impact on all Tartorans—which is why we can be thankful there are mechanisms in place to try to ensure the best successor.”
“And that isn’t Nik?” I asked, offended on his behalf.
