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He snorted. “Of course not. You couldn’t be a doormat if your life depended on it.”
She grinned. “Don’t you forget it.”
“So…” He drew out the word as Thomas jumped onto his lap and demanded attention, which she was relieved to see Logan give. “Do you miss him?”
Gabby’s first inclination was to shut the question down immediately, but she paused to consider because he deserved a proper answer. Did she miss Henry? She missed having someone to love. She missed being part of a couple and looking forward to seeing him whenever he had a few days off. But she didn’t miss his arrogance that went a little too far, or his tendency to steamroller people.
“No,” she said thoughtfully. “I don’t think so. I miss the relationship I thought I could have with him, and the time I wasted on him, but not actually him.”
“Good.” Logan flashed a victorious grin. “He’s not worth your pain.”
“That’s kind of you to say.”
His eyes darkened. “It’s true.”
“Mm.” She nibbled another cracker and reached for her phone. “I’m pretty sure he was lying anyway.”
Logan cocked his head. “About what?”
“Leaving Vanessa. That doesn’t seem like something he’d do. He wouldn’t want to be perceived badly, or for his fans to think he’d failed at a relationship.”
She tapped a few words into the search engine and hit “Go.” Sure enough, several news stories appeared, announcing that Vanessa had broken off the engagement due to alleged infidelity. Her heart thudding, she clicked into one of them, wondering if it would mention her. If so, she’d have to brace herself for a lot of public scathing. She skimmed the text, relieved to see that Vanessa had apparently walked in on Henry with another woman.
“Bastard,” she muttered. Once a cheater, always a cheater. She’d bet the incident had made Vanessa think twice about what Gabby had told her too. At least Vanessa had ended things before they got married.
“What is it?” Logan asked.
She shook her head. “Nothing. Just thought I’d check Henry’s story, and like I guessed, he was lying. He didn’t break up with Vanessa for me. She dumped him because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.”
“Ah.” His cautious expression told her he understood where her mind had gone. She was forced to acknowledge, once again, that she wasn’t special to Henry. Even though she would never have gotten back with him, she’d liked to believe that he might have cared for her, even if it was deep down. But it seemed she was just the backup option. Once again, she wasn’t enough.
* * *
Logan’s emotionswere a mess as he left Gabby’s house and drove back to The Den. He wished he could stay with her, but tonight would be busy. There was a large booking for a birthday and both he and Corinne were needed. Still, his thoughts were with Gabby as the scenery flew by. It unnerved him. He’d gotten used to the status quo, but then she’d moved here and gotten pregnant and now everything was in turmoil. He felt so much, and it scared him. He’d gotten used to keeping any strong emotions at a distance with his flippant attitude. He couldn’t maintain that with Gabby.
He showered in his apartment, and as he toweled dry and chose an outfit for the night, he couldn’t help thinking that his place no longer felt like home. It was a place to crash. A convenient stopping point. But Gabby’s house, filled with light and warmth, was a home. He enjoyed spending time there. His soul seemed to lift each time he entered. It was by no means perfect. There was fur everywhere and it smelled faintly of dog, but when he walked in, something inside him longed to stay.
He took the stairs down to the pub two at a time and greeted Corinne with a smile. She was serving customers, so he got started filling the drink orders she’d jotted on the notepad beside the register. The Den was bustling, the large party having just arrived, and time passed quickly. He was mentally elsewhere, and several times Corinne had to repeat herself to him. He could tell she was worried. He was usually tuned into whatever was going on around them so he could participate in any conversations he was dragged into and make sure every patron had what they needed.
Tonight, he’d let himself slip. He was too distracted wondering how Gabby would react if he suggested he move in with her soon rather than waiting until closer to the due date. He didn’t know whether she’d read something into the suggestion, or even if he wanted her to. How the hell was he supposed to make her understand his reasoning when he didn’t fully get it himself? He still wasn’t good father material, and he wasn’t the steady, responsible partner she deserved. But he found he cared less and less.
“Is everything okay?” Corinne asked as the bar began to empty.
He rubbed his temples. “I don’t know. I’m having all sorts of weird thoughts and I’m all over the place. Sorry. I hope you didn’t have to pick up too much slack.”
“Hardly at all,” she assured him. “I didn’t ask to make you feel guilty. I just want to know what’s going on. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Not really.” He glanced at Hugh MacAllister, the former town councilman and a total gossip, who was deep in conversation with one of his cronies. “I’ll talk to you after we’ve closed, if you’ve got time.”
“Of course.”
After the last of the patrons left, they did a quick clean, and then he poured them both a glass of lemonade. They sat side by side at the bar.
“Gabby’s ex turned up at her place today,” Logan said, and explained what he’d walked in on, leaving out Henry’s name. He trusted his mum, but Gabby’s ex’s identity was her business and it was up to her who she chose to share it with.
“It sounds like she’s better off without him,” Corinne said when he’d finished.
“Yeah.” Logan agreed completely, but his feelings about the matter were more complicated than hers.
