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Maybe I can send her to Vesnios. Vylco will help me. Maybe she can stay with his family for now.
I am halfway through constructing this plan when General Senel speaks again.
“Besides, it isn’t your problem any longer. I am discharging you from the reserves. You have served your people, and this land, admirably. You deserve to live your life now.”
“You’re doing what?” I nearly choke on the words.
Senel looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? To retire and go live in that little seaside town and take care of your mother? Now you can do that, and you can take your little friend with you. You can spend your days catching caesin, and you won’t even have to work because we’re pensioning you out.”
“But – but,” I stutter over the word. “But don’t you need me? The ceasefire might still hold steady, but that doesn’t mean that the war is over.”
“My boy, I am giving you a way out. You should take it. Besides, we’ve gotten a thousand new recruits who are all thinking the same as you.”
I can’t speak. I have no words to express what I am feeling.
You could finally be happy. You could take Elia with you, if that is what she wanted.
I can imagine it as I sit there, looking blankly at General Senel. He smiles down at me benevolently and then takes a pipe out of his pocket and lights it.
He turns away from me as he puffs on the pipe which is filling the apartment with smoke.
Usually, I would never allow anyone to smoke inside, but he is my superior officer after all. And he is giving me a way out of the life I have grown to hate.
“My boy.” He turns back to me and clears his throat. He is silhouetted by the moonlight, and his skin glows in the dark. “You have carried the burden off the war for too long. You have always been a good soldier. You have been loyal. Now is your time for rest.”
I nod at him dumbly, as my future in Bilgonith with Elia plays out in my head.
We’ll live on the beach. I’ll wake up early every day and make breakfast, and every evening I’ll bring fresh caesin home.
We’ll spend our days in the fresh air, away from the troubles of the city, away from the war, away from the xaphan.
And we will both finally have peace.
“Thank you.” My voice is gruff when I finally stand again. General Senel nods at me.
“You did well. Especially with Zephon. That was particularly… artistic. I quite enjoyed reading all about that one. And seeing the xaphanian general practically lose his mind over it was funny, too.”
I cannot help but laugh, and soon both General Senel and I are laughing.
“I don’t know how I’ll manage without the war,” I find myself saying as I walk him out.
“Many men have said that before,” he says with a small smile on his face. “But you find a way in the end. War is addictive, but addictions can kill. Anyway, I’m not giving you a choice. I don’t want to see you anywhere near the base again.”
The warning is clear. And I nod my thanks as we shake hands and he leaves.
31
ELIA
Iam wrapping up my shift in the bakery, serving my last customer of the day. As I hand the bag of pastries to an elderly soz’garoth, the senior citizen tilts his head at me.
“You know, I’ve been coming here for years, and I’ve seen you working behind this counter for all of that time. There’s something different about you these days. You seem… happier.”
“Well, I have reasons to be,” I tell him with a smile. “You take care now.”
After the customer leaves, I remain still for a few moments, pondering on what he said to me. I guess I must carry myself differently nowadays if a stranger notices something different about my mien. I’m about to begin closing up shop when Tonnolun emerges from the back.
“You go on home, I got this.”
