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Perhaps it was time to research the child's father.
For now, he turned his attention back to Laura. He had arranged to be dropped off, thus they would be riding home together. They walked through the crowds, not a word breaking the uncomfortable silence, until they reached the relative privacy of the parking lot. "Why are you so upset?" More than upset, she seemed… fearful? "Are you still afraid I'll hurt your daughter?"
She took a deep breath, clearly fighting for control. "Of course not."
"Then why do you look like a mama deer fighting off a hungry lion?"
"I'm not a mama deer and you're not a…" She hesitated. "Hungry lion."
"Then why are you so upset?" he repeated. "Why have you kept us apart?"
She squeezed her hands together, until they were as white as fresh snow. Perhaps the situation did relate to her child, although how was it possible? "Because you threaten everything." She drew in shallow breaths, her eyes sheening with emotion. “I need to protect her.”
“Protect her?” He shook his head in jerky movements. “From me? How could I hurt a child I don’t even know? Do you think just because you tried to blackmail me about my child I would do the same to yours?”
“Please listen…” She held up her hand.
"No, you listen," he interrupted, and like a broken dam, it all came flooding out. "I would never do anything to hurt a child. Never! Nor would I hurt a mother in a way that would impact a kid, not physically, not emotionally. Children are the innocents of this world, and must be protected. Every day I do everything in my power to ensure that. Do you know I run a million-dollar charity against child hunger?"
Without a word, Laura shook her head.
He should stop there, hadn't even meant to say that much. He had set up the charity under its own name; no one even knew it was his. But she needed to understand. "I even volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club. But it isn't enough. It'll never be enough. It can't ever make up for… for…"
"For what?" she whispered.
"For losing my baby."
She gasped, and suddenly it was like his heart had been ripped from him all over again. He rubbed his face vigorously, forcing himself to calm. "Don't you understand? I would never hurt little Jeanie."
Her eyes glistened. "Aidan," she spoke softly. "You’re not responsible for what happened. It was an accident."
Grief brought caustic bile into his mouth. "It never would’ve happened if it wasn't for me, if I hadn't told Leanne what she could and couldn't do, if I hadn't been so damn overprotective. She wouldn't have gone out, wouldn't have driven while furious, wouldn't have crashed, wouldn't have…"
"Stop right there." She grasped his arms. "You can't carry this guilt forever. It’s not your fault. So you got into a fight – every couple gets into them. There's no way you could have predicted the accident."
Sheer grief threatened to overwhelm him. "I should have."
"You couldn't." Liquid eyes fought a beseeching plea. "The crash wasn't your fault. Your family's death wasn't your fault. Accidents happen every day, and that's all it was – an accident. You had no reason to believe your actions would lead to tragedy, and no reason to think you caused it. You were just trying to protect her. What if the opposite had happened? What if you hadn't tried to protect her and then something happened? You can only do the best you can with the information you have. Please believe me – you are not to blame."
Aidan breathed hard. He wanted to scream, to shout, to hit something, but it wouldn't change anything, not the past, not the future. But then he looked into her eyes, and suddenly something happened that had never happened before. For just the tiniest instant, and just a little…
He believed her.
So many people told him it wasn't his fault, friends and family comforting him for so many years. So why now, with a woman who was harboring a major secret, would he believe it? And yet for some reason, he did. Could he truly let go of the guilt – could he truly be free?
“Aidan…” Sincerity softened her voice. “I’m sorry I've been acting this way. I know you would never hurt Jeanie.” She closed her eyes, as if crafting what to say next. "You're a great man, Aidan Bancroft, and you deserve more than you've been given. I have a feeling that soon, you'll get exactly what you deserve. But first, you need to believe the accident wasn't your fault. You are not to blame."
What did she mean? What did he deserve? A part of him wondered, but right now he could only focus on the woman who somehow soothed the harshest of his endless guilt. Her gaze held a million emotions, as they drifted closer and closer and closer. Then… he brushed her lips with his own.
She was all that was sweet, like the nectar of a ripe spring flower. Her lips were soft, warm and inviting, and she sighed as he caressed them. The sounds of approaching families drifted through the air, then he caught something – or rather someone – out of the corner of his eye.Damn. Forcing the heavy emotions back, he pulled back. “We need to leave now.”
She blinked, her eyes glassy and unfocused. “What?”
He pointed towards the carnival's exit. Laura moaned softly at Carol White, lumbering towards them, cameraman in tow. Thankfully, she had just turned a corner, and would’ve been too far to see their kiss. However, with the emotions of the last few minutes, it was doubtful they could withstand renewed questioning. Flushed cheeks and swollen lips would undoubtedly give them away.
Laura clicked the car doors open and hurried to the driver’s side, while he opened the passenger door. She revved the vehicle to life and pulled into the street, just before the reporter reached them. Aidan bit back a healthy sliver of satisfaction as the gossip queen stomped her foot and glared after them.
Next to him, Laura exhaled deeply. “That was close.” His would-be chauffeur stole a sideways glance at him. “Where are we going?”
