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“No? Then what is it about? Why are you really here?”
“Do you really need to even ask? I’m here because I miss you,” I choked out. “I’m here because I want you back. Truly back. I’m here because I miss my best friend.”
Lancelet gave me a strange look. “I’m not sure she’s here anymore.”
I clenched my jaw stubbornly. “You’ve changed. Fine. In more ways than one, sure. I can accept that. I’ve changed, too. But the old Lancelet is in there, too. I see her. I see you.” Abruptly, I switched to a new tactic. “So, you’re finally in love are you?”
Her head snapped up. “What are you talking about?”
But it was written all over her face. She’d flushed guiltily to the roots of her blonde hair.
I sighed, seeing I wasn’t going to get anything out of her on the topic.
“It doesn’t matter. If you don’t want to talk about it, we can save it for another day.” I lifted the heavy, black cloak I’d been holding over one arm all this time. My hair was already braided into a long plait that hung down my back. Simple and practical. “Look, I’m going out. Want to come?’
She curled her lips. “Are you mad? You can’t go out. We’re in hiding.”
“Since when would that have ever stopped you?” I challenged her. “I’m going out into the city. I’ll hide my hair and cover my face. You could do the same.”
Lancelet shook her head as if I were being an idiot—which, to be fair, I was. Purposely. For her.
“For what? To get a drink in the tavern? To buy some sweets in the marketplace?” She threw herself back onto the bed and folded her arms behind her head. “Seems like a stupid reason to get arrested by your lunatic brother. No, thanks.”
But I was ready with my rebuttal. “I won’t be visiting the tavern. I want to see the state ofourpeople. I want to see Camelot. I want to see what Arthur has done to it. You already know. But I’ve been away. I know you might not believe this, but I’ve been trying to get back here, to all of you, all of this time. I didn’t... I didn’t mean to stay away this long.” My voice was shaky with emotion.
But one emotion was missing. Anger at Draven. He had held me back from Camelot. He had kept me by his side instead. I found I couldn’t blame him for that now. He’d believed he was doing the right thing. He saw it as his duty to protect me.
Now here I was, alone, about to do something utterly stupid. Without him.
It was a surprisingly lonely feeling.
Lancelet was looking at me with something I hoped was affection. She shook her head. “Admirable. But still stupid.”
“You’re telling me you’ve never left the temple once since you got back? Not even to visit your family?” I demanded.
“No, I haven’t.” She turned her head to look at the wall. “I didn’t want to put them in danger. Besides, I don’t want them to see me like this. Merlin sent them word that I was... alive.” She said the last word so resentfully. As if it were barely true.
“They must want to see you, Lancelet,” I said gently. “You know that. They don’t care what you look like. But I can understand not wishing to put them in danger.” I hesitated. “So you haven’t snuck out? Not even to see what’s going on out there? Not once?”
“We get reports back all the time. We know what it’s like. Food shortages. Riots in the marketplace. Beheadings. What’s there to see?”
I shrugged. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is a stupid idea. But I just... I need to see for myself. At least once.” I bit my lip. “Before I do what Merlin asked and return to my brother.”
Lancelet sat up slowly. “You’re going to do it?”
“I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Like I said in the meeting.”
She snorted. “The Knights of the Round Table. What an utterly stupid name.”
I tried to hide my smile and failed.
She glared at me. “What?”
“Well, it’s just that you came up with it,” I reminded her. “Or had you forgotten that?”
“It was a joke! I didn’t think that Galahad was going to give a pretentious little speech and actually make us adopt it!” She looked at me and shook her head. “So, you came back. And now you’re going to Arthur. Completely stupid. But brave, I suppose.”
“I came back,” I echoed.
