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“I’m sorry,” I tell him because I’m not sure what else there is to say.
He sighs, closing his eyes. He stands like that for a long moment, and I take the time to check him out. Like always.
His hands are on top of his head as he stretches his shoulders, his biceps popping through his shirt. He has the thighs of a defensive end, his jeans looking almost too tight at times. It’s mouthwatering.
“Do you want to come sit over here and listen to my problems, cowboy?” I joke. A small smile slips onto his soft lips, and I can’t help but grin back at him.
“You have problems?” he asks, feigning shock.
“Lots of them,” I waggle my eyebrows.
He puts his arms down and walks over to the couch, flopping onto it as he watches me carefully. Noticing I’m wearing his shirt, his eyes narrow as he runs his tongue along his lower lip, propping his head against his fist.
“I’m worried about tomorrow. I don’t know what to expect.”
“They’re going to be assholes to you. They’re going to ask us a ton of questions, but if I’m honest, it’s probably going to be mostly directed at me. They’re only interested in a man taking over. I highly doubt they’re going to have much interest in what you have to say.”
“How do you think they would feel if they knew that the head of the company hired mercenaries to kill his late friend’s daughter?” I chuckle darkly, flicking a fuzzy off my knee.
“If I’m honest, I don’t think they’d care that much. A paycheck is a paycheck to most of them. As long as they’re still making money, they likely don’t care much.
I nod, resting my head on the back of the chair. “Sometimes I just wish I had the guts that Jerry has,” I whisper. Ronan sits up, asking me to repeat what I said, and when I do, she shakes his head vigorously, his black hair falling into his face.
“I, for one, am glad you’re not your sister. Let’s just get that out of the way right now,” he says. “And as for wanting to have guts like hers, I think you do. You’ve proven you do it over and over and over again. I’m not sure what more you can do.
“But—”
He cuts me off. “Jerry may be the clue that keeps us all together, sure. But you’re the only one who can bring this empire down. If she’s the lightning, you’re the goddamn thunder.”
A pang of unease goes off in my chest as I realize that he truly is one of the few people who’s ever been genuinely nice to me. Which is why I pause, thinking something over carefully.
“I think we should stop this,” I tell him, cracking every single finger over and over again in my lap as I speak.
“Stop what?”
“Stop this,” I motion between us. “I know that this is a means to an end. I don’t; I don’t understand why you want to be with me. It’s only been two weeks.”
“Two weeks that we’ve spent every waking moment with each other? Every single night? That we’ve dealt with things that even married couples who have been together for over fifty years don’t have to face? Sydney, stop pushing people away when they show they care.”
I shake my head vigorously, annoyed.
“I tell myself every single day that I’m not a naïve woman. That I’m smart. And yet, every day I make decisions that would prove that wrong. Every single damn day. My entire body screamed when you brought me back to my place that night. My entire body. Telling me not to. But I did because my heart said it was okay.
“I’d like, at some point, to just be able to live my life. I don’t want to get my heart broken, Ronan. I can’t do that.”
“Why the hell would I break your heart?:” He runs his palms over his face before leveling me with a stare, sucking in his bottom lip.
“Because I’m this naïve girl excited about this man who’s showing her even the smallest bit of decency, caught up in him. I can’t think of anything else. And you’re here, huge and hulking, so established in his career and life. Why would you want me?”
“I feel like I don’t have to say it, Sydney. Why are you determined not to look at this as something real?”
I hold up my hand, flashing him my ring. “What do you mean, why are you determined not to look at this as something real? Ronan, we’re married to take down a company. That’s it. You told me multiple times in the beginning that this was fake.”
“And that changed,” he barks, his hands fists on his lap. He moves to the edge of the couch, spreading his legs as he leans against them. “That teasing was me trying to convince myself to stay professional, Princess.”
I stay quiet, listening to him. “That teasing was me trying to keep my distance because something about you pulled me in from the very moment I saw you at that funeral. A girl hanging out at her parents’ funeral, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else. Like any person in that room would bite her at any point. I was intrigued.
“Then I convinced myself that you were too much of a rich girl. That you had too many expensive things for me. But turns out that’s a lie, too. And you know what? It makes me feel good. It makes me feel great, even.”
