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Lifting her up, I move to take her dress off, wanting to pleasure her the way she pleasured me.
But she stops me.
Her hand on my wrist, she looks over her shoulder nervously. Gone is the confident woman on her knees before me. She looks scared again.
“Not tonight,” she whispers, and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“Why not?” I ask, worrying that she’s not enjoying herself.
She turns around, sitting on the bed in front of me. “I just want to take this slow,” she says as she winces.
I kneel down in front of her now, grabbing her hips as I situate myself between her legs. “I’m good for whatever you’re good for, Sydney. Are you okay?”
She nods, sending me a tight-lipped smile.
I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m not thrilled about it.
Standing up, I run my fingers through my hair, looking around. Pulling my boxers on, I look back at her. “Why don’t you go clean up, okay?” She looks away before back at me, and there’s something in her eyes that looks an awful lot like shame, and I hate it.
But I can’t force her to tell me what’s wrong.
“I’m going to go downstairs and get some water and a snack. Do you want anything?”
She shakes her head.
I nod, heading out of the room, confusion clouding my brain.
TWENTY-ONE
SYDNEY
The warm waterrains down on me, washing the sweat from my body.
I’ve never felt anything like I do with Ronan. I’ve never wanted to pleasure someone so badly. Never wanted someone to pleasure me so badly. But I’m terrified of scaring him away.
There are things about me he needs to know first.
Sighing, I think about what just transpired. I don’t think I’ve ever given a hotter blowjob. I’ve always been into more aggressive sex. Always wanted to be pushed around a little bit. Him spitting in my mouth was one of the single most hottest things that anyone has ever done to me.
And I want him to do it again.
I squeeze some of his body wash onto my washcloth, moving it across my shoulders, imagining what it would feel like if it were him.
Sighing, I finish washing off, stepping out into the foggy bathroom as I grab the large towel from the hanger, drying myself off.
I brush my teeth slowly, taking my time before washing my face thoroughly with bar soap. I’m going to have to have someone go to the store with me at some point to grab proper face wash.
When I’m finally done, I look at the bathtub in the corner, promising myself that I’ll take a bath tomorrow.
Opening the door, the bathroom clears, and I step out into his room to find him resting on his bed, his back against the headboard as he chugs a bottle of water. There’s another one next to him, along with a small bowl of candy.
“I know you said you didn’t want any, but I brought you water and something to eat,” he tells me, his brown eyes searching mine. I know that he’s confused about what just happened. I am, too, in a way. I’m just not ready to talk about it with him right now. I will at another time.
Right now, I just want to lay with him. To feel his hand on my back as we sleep, his breath on my neck.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I move to the bed, looking to see what he brought. “Oh my god, yes!” I exclaim as my hand darts forward, grabbing an almond joy.
He raises a brow, the corner of his lips tilting up. “A favorite?”
