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He was nothing to me.
I had no right to be jealous or hurt.
"Yeah?" I said nonchalantly, feigning disinterest. "That’s good for him. He seemed like a nice guy."
Charlotte shot me a curious look, probably expecting a stronger reaction. I couldn't blame her for thinking it was odd, but I didn’t want to admit the hold Ari had on me. The feelings for him that had rooted much deeper than they should have.
I refused to think about that kiss…
Charlotte rambled on about her wild night with Soto, and I tried to hang on every word. Anything that would distract me from thinking about Ari Lancaster.
Because he was nothing to me.
Right?
* * *
I entered the audition room hours later, my steps echoing in the sterile, white-walled chamber. The harsh glare of the fluorescent lights illuminated a long table where an intimidating panel of agents and clients sat, their expressions like stone. It was a daunting scene, one I’d never get used to no matter how many I attended, and one that made my heart race as I walked to the center.
The other models waiting their turn lined the room. Tall and poised, they exuded an air of confidence that I’d never have. Their svelte figures, flawless skin, and designer outfits screamed perfection. They exchanged polite nods and strained smiles as we all silently acknowledged the cutthroat competition.
As I began my walk, I tried to project confidence, but the critical eyes tracking my every step weighed me down. The panel's whispered comments cut through me like a knife. "Her posture needs work." "She lacks the 'it' factor." "Her look is too ordinary."
Panic coursed through me as I felt my self-esteem plummet with each critique. The room grew stifling, and my chest tightened with anxiety. I couldn't shake the feeling that they were peeling back my layers, revealing every insecurity I had ever hidden.
Desperation clawed at me, and I sneaked a glance at the mirror behind the staff. In its unforgiving reflection, I saw every single one of my flaws magnified, highlighted in agonizing detail. Their gazes were locked onto me, analyzing every supposed imperfection. I’d been a fool to even show up today. I did much better when I was hired based on my pictures.
No one ever thought I wasenoughin person.
I kept my head high, struggling to maintain my composure the entire time I was standing there. The second they said I could leave, I bolted, not bothering to stay and see if I’d been chosen. There was no way I had.
As I stepped out of the unforgiving audition room, the weight of everything bore down on me like a leaden cloak. Panic surged, and the walls of the building were suddenly closing in on me. It was as if every set of eyes in the vicinity were dissecting my every flaw.
My breathing grew rapid, shallow gasps that failed to fill my lungs. My vision blurred at the edges, and the world spun around me.
My legs shook as I stumbled down the corridor, my steps unsteady. I was on the verge of collapsing, the panic attack gripping me in its merciless grasp. The world swirled with voices and faces, a nightmarish kaleidoscope that threatened to consume me.
In that desperate moment, I spotted an alleyway just ahead. I pushed myself forward, each step feeling like an eternity, until I reached the sanctuary of the dimly lit alley.
As I huddled against the alley's cold, graffiti-covered walls, the panic attack reached its peak. I trembled uncontrollably, tears streaming down my face as I struggled to catch my breath. It felt as though the world had turned against me, but in that dark, secluded space, I found a moment of respite, a fleeting escape from the relentless scrutiny that had nearly brought me to my knees.
“Blake?” a concerned, familiar voice called from somewhere nearby. A second later I heard someone walking toward me.
I blinked away my tears and, through my blurry vision, glanced up, hot shame licking at my insides when I saw Ari approaching, his face etched with genuine concern. He crouched in front of me, his eyes locked onto mine, and his voice softened with worry.
"Hey, sunshine," he said gently, "what's going on?" His presence alone felt like a lifeline, and I struggled to find the words to explain the overwhelming rush of emotions that had consumed me.
“Just a bad day,” I finally squeaked.
“This looks like more than just a bad day…but we can go with that story if it makes you feel better,” he said, reaching out to brush a tear from my face.
All thoughts escaped me as I watched him bring the tear to his lips.
He licked it off.
And he seemed to savor the taste.
“There, now we can share the bad day,” he murmured with a wink, completely unrepentant for the weird as hell thing he’d just done. A shocked cough came out of me.
