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“I’ve hired an attorney for you. You just need to call the office and set an appointment.” He closed his eyes briefly, as if trying to find the strength to continue. “She has the divorce papers ready for you to sign, Blake. All you have to do is put your signature on them.”
Ari wiped at his wet cheeks, a tremor passing through his body. “And then you'll be free."
Tears streamed down my face as I looked into his eyes, my heart breaking with every passing moment.
I couldn’t find words. It’s like they died somewhere inside of me. I wanted to scream. To tell him how dare he. Tell him that I deserved more.
That was fucking it? He’d tricked me, manipulated me…lied to me. He’d fucking married me while I was black-out drunk. And he wasgiving up. All those times he’d said we were forever. That we could get through everything. That he’d never let me go…this was what he’d meant? The way I loved him was desperate and dark…and it felt poisonous at the moment but…I hadn’t given up. I was trying to fix things in my fucked up head. I needed time. I needed the grace to be pissed and sad at him for everything. But he was giving up?
I watched in shock as he nodded and picked up the suitcase, walking way without a single glance back.
Just a few steps in, he stopped. And Ari didn’t seem to have the same problem that I was having, because his next words made me want to die.
“I’m sorry I broke my promise to make you happy, sunshine. I’ll never be over you. You’ll always be the love of my life.”
His words were like a slice across my wrist. And watching him walk away…
My legs gave way, and I sank to my knees, unable to hold myself up any longer. The room seemed to spin around me as I clutched at my chest, feeling like my heart had been ripped out.
Tears continued to flow freely down my cheeks, and I sobbed uncontrollably, the pain in my chest unbearable. It felt as if my entire world had crumbled into pieces, leaving nothing but devastation in its wake.
Every dream we had shared, every promise we had made to each other, now lay shattered at my feet.
I felt like I couldn't breathe, like the walls of the room were closing in on me. My life was slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. The thought of a life without Ari was too much to bear.
All I felt was emptiness.
I got up when I heard the garage door, rushing towards the sound.
“Goodbye, sunshine," he said when he saw me in the doorway, not pausing at all while he got into his car.
I watched as he backed out, and drove away…leaving me there, my heart in tatters.
* * *
I didn’t know why I’d showed up to this shoot. Losing the love of your life was probably as good of an excuse as it got to skip work.
But here I was.
Going through the motions like I gave a fuck about this job, or this product, or anyone around me actually.
There were three of us on set today. And I was the only one sucking. We’d taken some shots with all of us, and now I was waiting on the sideline while the other two took a few pictures.
It was obvious that they were dating. There was an energy between them, a connection. Their bodies just fit together, like it was meant to be. I’d been in the middle of them, a square peg in a round hole with absolutely no chemistry.
And I didn’t even want to try. BecauseAriwasn’t here.
People thought modeling was just staring into a lens…looking pretty. But it required emotion. It required a mood, a fierceness.
It required you to care.
And I just didn’t.
The only emotion I was feeling at the moment…was numbness.
I aimlessly pulled up Instagram, scrolling through my feed. And like the universe was determined to fuck me up today…there were Ari and me in a Renage ad.
The two models in front of me had nothing compared to the two of us. The connection between us had been dazzling, tangible…they hadn’t been able to take their eyes off us.
