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He began to raise an arm, but Saint shook his head. “No. I’ve fed enough. Will you…” He couldn’t ask Jay to see if Octavius was all right. Octavius might lash out at him. No, that thought didn’t sit right. Octavius smelled like Jay, as though they’d beentogether. As though they were one. Nyktelios and feeder. “What happened, while I was out? Are you two close?”
“No, not really.” Jay sat on the edge of the bed. He looked good, healthy, bubbly. Octavius had been caring for him. “He filtered out the venom in your veins and took blood from me to keep the venom from hurting him. And it worked!”
“He consumed my blood knowing it was poisoned?”
“Yeah, then drank from me, to help fight the effects of the venom. Amazing, right?”
Then what Saint had just done was so much worse in the face of Octavius’s selflessness. “Will you see if he’s all right?”
“He’ll be fine.” Jay shrugged. “He gets prickly afterward. It’ll pass.”
“No, Jay. I hurt him.” Saint’s voice caught. “Really hurt him, and I er…” He swallowed to try to clear the knot. “I don’t want you to lose him because of me.”
Jay laughed at Saint’s concern. “He won’t go, he loves us. Trust me.”
Every damn thing Jay said made his heart want to shrivel in his chest. He slumped forward and buried his face in his hands. “Please, in a little while, give him some time, and then go to him.”
“Why don’tyougo to him?”
“Because I just raped him, Jay,” Saint snapped. “I raped him and bled him, exactly like the monster he believes I am. I can’t go to him. I can’t look him in the eyes…”
Jay stood abruptly. He should run from Saint. They should both leave. Saint did not deserve them. Jay backed away and left with a delicate click of the closed door.
Saint had been so far away, drifting in nothingness for so long, poised at the edge of a precipice as though one wrong step would topple him over the edge, but then Octavius had been there, in his head and his heart, holding him back. He hadn’t been alone, after being alone for so, so long. And that had meant everything because he’d known he’d had something—someone—to come back to.
“Hey.” Jay ventured back inside after being gone for some time. “So, I spoke with him, and he’s grumpy, as usual, but I don’t think he’s angry about what you did. You need to speak with him.”
He did need to speak with him. Apologize, do whatever he had to so Octavius knew it had been a terrible mistake.
“Thank you.”
Jay shrugged. “Areyouokay?”
Saint stood and got a waft of his stale-smelling clothes. Besides smelling like a vagrant, he felt good. Better than good. But that was the effect of feeding and fucking like he had. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. And thank you again, Jay.” He reached for him and when Jay melted into his arms, his heart swelled. It meant a lot, what they’d both done for him. He’d find a way to thank them properly. “Where is Octavius?”
“In his room. He was going to take a shower, but he said to send you in.”
Saint left Jay and headed down the hall, following the sounds of the shower. He knocked on the bedroom door.
“Come!”
Perhaps this was a trap, so Saint lowered his guard, leaving him open to Octavius’s vengeful attack. It had to be coming. He pushed open the door and spotted how the bathroom door was ajar. Octavius’s lithe figure moved behind the shower door among bellowing steam. Then he shut off the water, the door opened, and Saint looked away. He’d destroyed any right he had to admire Octavius naked, yet every piece of him ached to have him close.
After the rustle of fabric, Octavius emerged with a towel around his waist, and he used another to ruffle his wet hair. Water droplets glistened on his chest, tiny little gems that Saint ached to lick off. One drop at a time.
Octavius tossed the damp towel on the bed, keeping the one around his waist, then folded his arms and glowered. “Well?”
Where to begin? “Hear me out.” Saint raised his hands. “Actually, no, there’s no excuse. I was out of my mind. I just—You were there, and I knew I needed you, and I… I didn’t want that.” Octavius’s glower sharpened. This was terrible. Saint wanted to crawl into a hole. “Fuck, I don’t know what to say or do to make this right. Name it, and I’ll do it.”
“Get on your knees.”
“What?”
“Get on your knees.”
Saint dropped. If Octavius ran a blade through his heart, he’d welcome it. It was all he deserved for turning on him.
Octavius came forward and with less than a step remaining, he peered down his nose. From below, Octavius was even more enchanting. Fury radiated off him, power restrained, and Saint could feel himself getting hard again, adding insult to injury.
