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“We can hope.”
“Yes, we can.” I sipped my mead and slunk lower on the stool. If only I could do more, but where to start? Father had had his advisors. I hadn’t been crowned king. I didn’t know the processes, the people. Four years behind a door had crippled any chance of building trust with the courtly advisors, and even if they’d survived the fire, how could I find them? And what could I do that would amount to more than a drop in the ocean?
“Arin?”
I lifted my gaze to the barmaid with plaited brown hair and bright, intelligent eyes. I knew her, but with everything that had happened, I struggled to place where from.
“Ellyn…” she said. “I was er… I was a kitchen maid. In the palace.”
“Ellyn, yes!” We’d talked a great deal, sometimes at length—about Lark. I’d admitted to her how he was a beautiful lie, beginning our spiral into madness. “Of course! Goodness, how are you?”
“I’m er…” She balanced empty bowls on her arm and poked self-consciously at her messy hair. “Well, you know. I’m alive. So there’s that.” The bowls almost slipped from her arms. I lurched to grab them, and we fussed, securing the stack on the bar. “May I… hug you? Would it be inappropriate? I’m sorry, I just— You’re here!”
“Uhm, I suppose, but please keep your voice down—”
She threw her arms around me, rocking me back a step, and squeezed as though we were lifelong friends. Her hair smelled of wood ash from the fireplaces she’d been stoking and baked bread from the kitchens.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, prying herself away. Tears gleamed in her eyes.
“Whatever for?”
A shy laugh fell from her, or perhaps a sob she tried to hide. “Lark, I… I didn’t know who he was. You have to believe me. I had no idea. I trusted that rat.” Her sadness waned, and the tears dried without having fallen. “He lied to me, to everyone. I thought… I thought we were friends. And all that time, he wasthat horrible prince’s brother.”
Her bright eyes turned fierce with rage. They’d been close. But not close enough she knew the real truth beneath Lark’s lies. “It’s all right. He fooled us all.” I’d known Lark was lying, even when she clearly had not. I’d kept the information from her, so in part, I was as guilty as Lark.
“He ruined everything.” She swept at her apron.
“Well, Razak was mostly behind—”
“He always had something about him, you know.” She looked up again, and her mouth twisted, then pinched. “That sly little smile of his, like he knew things we didn’t, as though he knew all our secrets. The bastard.”
“Well, he did.”
“Yes, but… Argh!” She grabbed her bowls and puffed her hair from her face. “I have to get back to work, but later, would it be improper if I sat with you a while?”
“I’d be delighted for the company. I’m waiting for a friend who may not arrive tonight.”
She curtsied—thankfully nobody noticed—and hurried off, returning a little while later after I’d moved to the lounge area at the back of the main bar. Here, the seats were comfortable and the fireplace ablaze.
“Jay has let me off early, assuming we don’t suddenly get a rush of customers.” She flopped into the chair opposite mine. “It’s so good to see someone from… before. Most everyone has left.”
“Let me buy you a drink?”
“Oh, no, I—” She spotted the coins. “All right then.”
I handed her a coin and she returned from the bar moments later with two tankards of mead. “I got the good stuff Jay keeps for his best customers, and himself.”
We settled in and chatted like normal people. It was good, although my guilt was never far away. She’d lost someone she’d cared for in the palace fire. Her eyes had shimmered with unshed tears again when she spoke of her. Then she raged about Lark, blaming him. I tried to interject with Lark’s reasoning, but she was spirited in her character assassination and had no room for excuses. She clearly needed to voice her rage. Her ire was appropriate, considering how close she’d believed she’d been to Lark.
Lark had used her like he had everyone else in my court, but there may have been more of a genuine connection there.
“So, you’re back,” she said. “I assume you’re going to rebuild the court?”
We’d grown comfortable in our chairs. The fire had burned low, and we were on our third tankard of mead. Ellyn had a friendly manner that made her easy to speak with. She also didn’t hold back on voicing her thoughts. And right now, her glare demanded I pick up my fallen name, don my crown, and ride off to battle with the Court of Pain. If only it were that simple. My name was all I had left. I couldn’t fight a war with that alone.
“I do not know how, in truth.”
She fluttered a hand, dismissing my concerns. “Just your being here will bring hope back to our hearts.”
