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I laughed. “Luckily, he keeps them in the center console. Either that or up his ass.” I wiped a stray tear away and laughed some more. “God, that felt good. Do you think he even realized he was still naked?”
“Speaking of naked…” Gabe grinned, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. “Let’s burn this bedding, grab a drink, and see where the night takes us?”
“What’s your hurry?” I asked, standing on my toes to kiss him briefly. “We have our whole lives ahead of us.”
EPILOGUE
MARNIE
I adjusted the lapels on my sleek black sports coat, then smiled widely. I checked the top of my black heels for any specks of dust or smudges and found them to be shockingly clean. That was sort of a rarity when it came to my job. Limbo was just so damned dusty. I tugged at my lapels again, not exactly digging the corporate look, but it seemed to comfort people. I felt like one of those eighties power-suit ladies or maybe a stewardess or something. At least I didn’t have to wear a little hat.
“Hello!” I said as I smiled widely. I hoped I didn’t have any lipstick on my teeth. I waved at the mass of dark shapes coming toward me. “Hi! Yes, just over here!”
The small crowd of newly departed souls jostled and made their way to stand in front of me. As usual, everyone looked more than a little confused. A few of them looked downright angry, and one person was actively crying, but they’d get over it soon. This place sorta zapped the emotional energy right out of you.
“Okay,” I said, still using my friendliest, kindest customer service voice. “I think we are all here and ready to get started. Welcome to Limbo, folks! I’m Marnie, your friendly neighborhood liaison to the underworld. Yes, I know what you’re thinking—‘underworld, huh? I thought it’d be more, well, fiery.’”
A few people nodded along, and I kept on with my speech. “Well, you’re in for a treat because Limbo is like the waiting room of the afterlife, and we’ve got some pretty interesting stuff going on here. And exactly zero of those things are eternal hellfire flames, so… cross that off the tour bingo card.”
One man laughed awkwardly, and I tipped him a wave. “Thank you, sir. I have never been a comedian in any of my lives… above or below. The encouragement is appreciated.”
I beckoned for everyone to follow me. “First things first, yes, it is a waiting room. Heaven and Hell sort of… lost a bit of direction there for a few… decades… and we’ve been restructuring things a bit. Cracking down on crime, so to speak. Look, I know crime seems like it’d be rampant in Hell, but there are rules. We have a little decorum.” I held my thumb and forefinger just barely apart for everyone. “It’s a waiting room, but it’s not boring. Everyone’s got their own life, er, or death story to share, and it’s great for people-watching. Time works differently in Limbo. You won’t age, you won’t get hungry, and you won’t run out of battery on your eternal smartphone.” A teenage girl raised her hand, and I motioned for her to put it back down. “No, darlin’, that was a joke. There’s no Wi-Fi, so don’t bother checking TikTok.”
I babbled on and waved them forward, showing them essential sights in the gray landscape. At least it wasn’t barren anymore. Heaven and the Order had returned Limbo to its intended purpose, which was pretty much a cosmic DMV. It was a holding pattern, a place to wait until it was your turn for judgment. Everyone did get their turn eventually, save for the truly lost. Many folks found a second life in Limbo, picking up new hobbies and even making friends as they waited. To facilitate it all, the upper cosmic management had summoned and created living arrangements, a park, and community buildings. As with all the afterlife’s blank spaces, the River Styx—or Lethe—wound through it, though no creepy-crawlies ever tried to emerge from its waters and eat any souls.
“Is it always so gray?” an older woman asked me warily midway through one of my speeches.
I shrugged. “You get used to it. But the weather is always a perfect, even spring day. Plus, you don’t need sunscreen, and there’s no such thing as allergies here.”
“Um, ma’am?” the teenage girl asked. “Are… are you dead? How did you die? Is that, like, rude? Sorry, I’m… I’m…”
“Overwhelmed?” I said gently, then smiled. “Most people are. That’s why they gave me this job. Think of me as the WalMart greeter for your afterlife layover. They’re trying their best to make the whole death experience a little better than it was. I had some pointers when I woke up here… but that’s a long story. And no, I’m not dead.”
A few people let out some shocked and confused murmurs.
I raised my hands to quiet them. “I have a… unique ability to walk between Topside and Limbo, which is why they chose me. Maybe I’ll come down sometime and tell you all about it.”
The teenage girl smiled, looking a little less overwhelmed and scared than before. That was one of the best things about my job. It sounded cheesy to say I loved helping people, but I really did. After years of dead-end jobs, it was funny that being, well, dead, had helped me find my calling. When the Order and the seraph had grimly and seriously promised to give me a new role in the reshaping of the cosmos, I hadn’t expected this, but maybe they’d known how suited for it I was.
We walked a bit farther, and I stopped in front of the nondescript gray community center. Even though the upper management had revamped Limbo, it all still looked like dreary government buildings. I checked the watch on my wrist as everyone gathered around me.
“Well, this concludes my shift, but the lovely people inside these doors will help answer any questions and find you a place to stay,” I said with a final, wide customer service smile.
“Wh—Where are you going?” the teen girl asked.
“Home,” I said, smiling genuinely this time.
* * *
I looked up at the house with a smile on my face. The wildflowers were blooming like crazy, and they were spilling out of the beds and the flower boxes in the best way. Gabe had installed a wind chime for me like I’d always wanted, and we had probably four different terracotta pots and boxes of fresh herbs growing. Macrame plant hangers and two cozy wooden chairs polished the space off, as did a multicolored throw rug. It was exactly what I had always wanted—my little boho, cottagecore haven. I’d just been trying to do it with the wrong person back then. Now? Now, I had coffee out here every damned day. And what was even better was that I never had to make it. Gabe slept less than I did, and acts of service were sort of his love language.
He’s fucking perfect.
He opened the door for me before I could even get all the way up the porch steps.
“Honey, I’m home.” I grinned.
He held his arms wide, and I rushed into his chest. I breathed deeply. Even when he didn’t have his coat on, he still smelled like leather.
