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But it wasn’t a crutch. God had just made man so that man needed God. When man refused to acknowledge that need, and depend on the Lord, man needed to depend on something else. Whether it was drugs, alcohol, or some other form of pleasure or satisfaction. Griff and Rodney had talked about it, and it seemed Rodney had been listening.
“A lot of people scoff at religion. We don’t want to admit we’re weak, that we're nothing without the Lord.” Griff didn’t know what else to say. What did a person say to a kid who had seen what this boy had seen?
Even in his childhood, he’d never seen anything so horrific. He couldn’t imagine that Rodney would ever get the picture of his parents out of his head. Wouldn’t get the memories of this night out of his head. What in the world could Griff say to help him?
And then the thought came to him. Maybe he didn’t need to say anything. Maybe he just needed to be here for him. To allow Rodney to take the lead in letting him know what he needed.
Griff figured when he was a kid, he never heard anything that anyone said when they tried to force it down his throat. It was only when he was actually interested that he paid attention and learned.
Sometimes that was still true. It took maturity, or to be able to take one’s focus off of oneself, and to actually listen and hear when someone else was saying. To take an interest in them, even when one wasn’t interested. To take time out of a one’s life and give it to someone who needed it.
“I got to thinking after you and I talked,” Rodney said quietly.
Griff grunted.
“About death, and life, and...I don’t know a whole lot about religion. My parents took me to church on Easter and Christmas. I suppose we went a few other times too. But, the way I see it, there are only two sides. The side you’re on, and the side I was on.”
“There’s not going to be a tie at the end,” Griff ventured.
Rodney nodded, like he already had thought of that. “I know which side wins in the end.”
“That’s right,” Griff said.
“Why would I fight for the losing side? I can’t change the outcome. I can only choose which side I’m going to be on.”
“It’s your choice. God gives everyone free choice.”
“I know. I tried to distance myself from my parents. They’re not choosing for me. But, it’s kind of hard.”
“To a certain extent, what your parents do will be with you all your life. If you have good parents, parents who set a good example for you, who do what’s right, who try not to be selfish, who do everything in their power to make your childhood one where you learn how to become the kind of adult who thinks of others, and serves God...that stays with you.”
“The other kind of childhood stays with you too. I think so, anyway,” Rodney muttered.
“Tonight will never leave you.”
“I’d already decided I wasn’t going to allow my parents to define me. But this... I can’t even process it. My parents are gone. Because of my mom.” Rodney sounded like he couldn’t believe it. Like he was in shock, and didn’t know what to say or do.
Griff didn’t know what to say or do either.
Just then the kitchen door swung open, and Chi breezed in.
“Good morn-” She cut off mid sentence as she saw he was not alone in the kitchen.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he processed the fact that she seemed happy and cheerful. Maybe even a little more so than her usual. But the smile froze on her face as she took in the somber atmosphere that lay thick and heavy in the kitchen.
“What happened?” she said, her tone completely changed, concern dripping from every syllable.
Griff waited. This was Rodney’s news to share if he wanted to. He looked at the boy. Rodney looked up at him, met his eyes, and jerked his head just a bit, before he looked back down at his hands.
Griff took that as an assent for him to be Rodney’s mouth. He couldn’t imagine telling a bunch of people what happened, and Rodney had already told it twice.
He didn’t want to leave Rodney alone in the kitchen, but he didn’t want to talk to Chi in front of him. Finally, he decided it was better to stay with the kid, who was technically not a kid anymore, but had just been through a huge shock and obviously needed someone to lean on.
He lowered his voice, and said, “His mother shot his father, and then herself. Rodney found them.”
Chi’s eyes opened wide, and she gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.
“That’s terrible,” she murmured, her eyes filling with compassion and going to Rodney.
