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I’d already forgotten about the worried group assembled in the next room, lost in him. He reluctantly pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. "I am not ready to let you go and as much as this pains me to say, your brother is waiting. As is Anna and Lukas. They have been worried as well."
Oh. Each of their faces fluttered though my mind, the images fuzzy and hard to focus on. It was as if I was looking through my human memories with a Vaseline covered lens, glimpsing at out of focus, hazy pictures. I ruffled his soft hair between my index and middle fingers as my mind refocused. "Right. My mind..."
"Is jumbled and confused." Stefan finished knowingly. His sea blue eyes glittered in understanding. “I promise, it will get easier to balance what you are feeling. It will not always be so overwhelming."
Blinking at his words, I couldn’t help but wonder if I wanted to discover a balance? How easy would it be to let my primal instincts take over and only worry about Stefan? We could just forget everything else for the next century. No sooner had the thought began to unfurl alluringly in my mind, I realized how cruel and selfish that would be to the others standing by, waiting for me to emerge. We were a family, regardless how dysfunctional. We’d be together for an eternity.
"Promises, promises," I whispered. I dropped a kiss on the end if his nose and reluctantly rose from his embrace. Stretching my arms above my head, I took silent inventory of my body. I felt stronger; any small aches or pains I'd had disappeared, my muscles strong and powerful. "The sooner we do this sooner I have you to myself, right?"
A sexy smile twisted his lips and a blond eyebrow cocked arrogantly. He knew where my mind…and libido was currently hovering. It was somewhere between sizzle and inferno. "That would be the plan. Are you ready for this? How is your thirst?" Stefan questioned. His mind probed mine even as he asked. I could feel his worry and concern.
Swallowing, I considered my thirst and bloodlust. Honestly, my throat simply felt dry. I felt no insane, all consuming need for blood. I was anxiously waiting to see my ‘family’.
"It's fine. C'mon," I urged, pulling Stefan to the door. I reached for the doorknob when I remembered that Nikolaus was still partly human and I spun to face Stefan with fearful eyes. "Wait! Shit…what if…"
Stefan stared down at me with a look of understanding on his handsome face. He knew that my biggest fear would be that once I smelled my brother’s sweet blood coursing through his veins, hear the enchanting wet thump of his heart I’d lose control.
He knew me better than myself. Beautiful bastard.
“Anna easily controlled herself around Nikolaus from the very beginning. You are his sister. Any desire you might feel for blood will be tempered by the knowledge you would be killing your sibling, yes?” Stefan reminded me, brushing the backs of his fingers down my jaw and lingering across my throat. “You can do this, Josephine. If there is anyone that can overcome desire for blood, it will be you. I know this. If I doubted you, I would not let you see a human to tempt you, vackra. I would not be so cruel to hurt you like that.”
Taking in a deep breath of courage, I gave him a sharp nod and let him intertwine my fingers with his. “I know you wouldn’t. You have more trust in me than I deserve.”
He chuckled; a strained smile graced his lips. “There is one final thing we need to discuss before we leave this room.”
That sounded ominous. I simply stood and waited for him to continue.
“Your shield. I am sure it is stronger now that you have made the change. You must promise me if I need to restrain you for any reason…you cannot use it on me. If you hurt an innocent it would destroy you.”
A makerless vampire. Lukas’ earlier words resonated in my mind. I could be uncontrollable. If I was unable to control myself and acclimate to being around humans, we’d be forced to go into hiding. I couldn’t let that happen…not with so much at stake.
“I promise.” I sighed and squeezed his hand tightly. “I won’t use my shield on you if we are among humans.”
“Or vampires as well. You cannot reveal this gift you have to anyone else. Your father knows, as does the three in the other room. The more people that know, the more of a threat you will be seen to be. We have enough enemies that would like nothing more than to see us eliminated. We need no more than what we have already.” Stefan advised. A familiar image of a man floated to the forefront of Stefan’s thoughts as he spoke.
“Amir?” Saying his name made the hazy face of the strange, amber eyed man that I’d met only days earlier come into sharper focus. He was Stefan’s vampire brother…and Lukas’ lover.
“He knows nothing. He will remain in the dark about this ability,” Stefan retorted sharply. I could tell by his tone and sense of resolve that our conversation regarding Amir was over. And for now, I’d give him that. However, this topic was far from closed.
Narrowing my eyes, I peered closer at him. Amir was supposedly on our side, an ally for the greater good. Had something happened to make Stefan distrust Amir?
Stefan glanced up at the ceiling and he heaved a heavy sigh. “You will never let anything rest. He has done nothing per se, vackra. Amir is my brother. You must remember I have not seen him in many years. I cannot read him to know of his true intentions and for many years, he harbored much resentment about his existence as an immortal. He is a concern and he will continue to be a loose cannon until he fully earns my trust. His cloaking ability makes him as blank to me as Kian and that will always worry me.”
Fucking Kian. Just thinking about my birth father made the hair on the back of my neck stand up in attention and my blood boil. Evil, cunning and deadly, he would kill either Stefan or myself if given the chance. If I had anything to do about it, he wouldn’t come close to touching Stefan or me. The next time, I’d let my shield crush him. I’d feel no remorse at seeing him die.
“You have my word. I won’t use my shield in front of humans or vampires and I’ll let you restrain me if I lose it. Please, I want to see them. I want to see them so we can have some time to ourselves.” I pleaded softly. I hated to beg, but my body and my mind were at war, each wanting the same thing and both equally annoyed because they were being denied of what they wanted: Stefan…and Stefan naked in our bed.
“Go.”
His soft mental command made me reach for the doorknob once again. My free hand tightened on his out of reflex as I pulled the door open and I stuck my head out the door into the hallway, surprised to see weak sunlight spilling through the large windows. I’d totally lost track of time and had no idea what time it was, let alone the day. I held my breath, not trusting myself to breathe in the one thing that I knew I’d want more than anything.
Blood.
Stefan followed closely behind me as I crept down the hallway. All conversation from the other room had quickly ground to a halt as they heard my hesitant approach and awaited my appearance. I glanced over my shoulder and exchanged a smile with Stefan. His rugged face was filled with encouragement, love…and trust. Feeling his rush of confidence through the bond gave me the courage to let down my guard and inhale a deep breath, waiting for the allure of Nikolaus’ blood to overtake me. Bracing myself, my spine stiffened and my eyes clenched shut as I waited to lose control.
Exhaling softly, I felt no wild blood lust. Sniffing softly, each of their unique scents blended together in the spacious room. And I could hear the wet thump of Nikolaus’ heart as I stood on the other side of the room. While tempting, it was manageable. I cleared my throat and opened my eyes, glancing around the room at the people that I valued above all others. All of their eyes watched me expectantly, waiting for me to address them. Lukas seemed the most excited. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his icy blue eyes glittering.
I did my best to swallow my nervousness and try for nonchalance. “Don’t you all have something else better to do?”
