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Chapter One
Dani
“Wait!” Mariah cried just as I was about to hit play on the TV remote. It had been another discouraging day for me schlepping around Los Angeles on go-sees. Hence, I was exhausted and more than ready to take my mind off actual reality by escaping into the land of reality TV instead. At least then I wouldn’t have to think about the way each of the designers at my modeling casting calls frowned after I put on their samples and demonstrated my walk. It was clear I hadn’t booked any jobs. The day had been a complete waste, as I knew it would be. And, unfortunately, so did my agent, who had been making no attempt to hide her displeasure with me over the past few weeks and was now tracking my every move like a hawk.
“What’s wrong?” I asked my best friend and roommate as she hopped up off the couch. She’d only just sat down after getting home from her late shift at the hospital and swapping her scrubs for a pajama set. “Did you get called back to work?” Mariah was a nurse and sometimes had on-call shifts.
“No,” she said, shaking her head, making even more of her unruly red curls come loose from her messy bun. She walked through the living room of our apartment to the adjacent kitchen. “I just want to make some popcorn so I can relax and enjoy this train wreck of a dating show to the fullest. Who are these people, anyway? They certainly know how to bring the drama, that’s for sure.”
“Hot messes,” I replied, settling back against the sofa cushions, and pulling my favorite cornflower blue lap blanket over me. “They must be really desperate for love if they’re willing to do anything for it. I mean, they don’t blink an eye if cheating and lying will get them what they want. At least I haven’t sunk so low that I’ve needed to fake my way into a relationship.”
“I don’t think love has anything to do with what makes people go on these shows,” said Mariah as she tore the wrapper off a bag of microwave popcorn. “They’re angling for fame in my opinion, and the fortune that goes along with that for the lucky ones who manage to stay in the public eye.”
“You’re right,” I said. “It’s the lure of fame that’s the real driving factor. If they only knew. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”
“Oh, Dani.” Mariah put the bag of popcorn into the microwave and pressed the start button. “You haven’t been able to book any new jobs?”
“No,” I said dejectedly. “And Willow is furious.”
“Really?” Mariah leaned over the shiny white granite countertop of the kitchen island. “To be honest, I wouldn’t have known you’d put on weight at all if you hadn’t told me.”
“Well, it’s obvious to everybody else,” I told her. “Especially Willow. She called me in to her office at the agency on Monday and said that she’s getting tired of receiving complaints from designers that I don’t look like my pictures. She said that if I don’t stop yo-yo’ing up and down and get my weight under control, she’ll have to let me go.”
“No! She didn’t really threaten you with losing her representation, did she? I mean, you’ve been with the Willow Renee Agency ever since their scout discovered you at the mall back in middle school!”
“Unfortunately, that’s exactly what she did,” I said glumly, pulling the blanket up higher over my too-thick middle. “And she reminded me that she’s the best in the biz—which she is, given that she’s a former supermodel herself. Sometimes I wish my parents had stepped in and forbidden me to pursue this stupid career.”
“Dani,” said Mariah. “You can’t be serious. You’ve made a lot of money at a very young age, and you’re a household name. Your pictures are everywhere. Practically every woman in the U.S. wishes she was in your shoes. Would you really give it all up?”
“I’m not sure,” I replied, twisting the thin threads of the blanket between my fingers. “I just hate having to be on a diet all the time, and to have my body inspected and criticized like some lab rat. I was so hungry today I almost passed out at my last go-see. Thank God another model noticed that I wasn’t feeling well and handed me a few pretzels she got from the vending machine. However, that maxed out my calorie count for today, so I had to skip dinner.” As if on cue, my stomach rumbled.
Mariah gasped. “No, tell me you are not doing this. Nothing is worth starving yourself and jeopardizing your health. I wouldn’t blame you one bit for quitting the industry if that’s what it’s come to. To be honest, I’ve had no idea how you’ve put up with the constant judgment for so long. It’s not fair for them to treat models as less than human, like you don’t have any feelings. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. I know I’m not perfect, but I definitely don’t need people reminding me of my every flaw every five seconds.”
I paused to reflect. “Yeah, it’s a lot to take. At first, it was flattering to be getting so much attention, and it was easier when I was younger. I didn’t have to think about my weight back then. My parents also enjoyed the recognition my modeling career brought them, and I was proud to be in a position to help them.”
“I can see that,” said Mariah. “I’ll bet your dad’s dermatology practice exploded.”
“You got that right,” I said. “He manages three different clinics now and supervises a whole host of dermatologic medical residents. That’s how my sister met her fiancé—she stopped in to see my dad about something or other one day a couple of years ago and met Steven. And I know my mom’s used our relationship to help fundraise for the organizations where she serves on the board.”
“Those are not necessarily bad things in and of themselves,” said Mariah thoughtfully, “but not if you’re starting to feel used.”
I couldn’t agree more. I ran my fingers through my long honey-brown hair and sighed, listening to the steady pop-popping of the hot kernels in the microwave. “Honestly, I don’t know how I feel anymore. I think it will be good for me to get away next week to attend my sister’s wedding. I just need to get out of L.A. and spend some quality time with Dax. It feels like it’s been ages since we’ve seen each other.”
“Has he been busy with jobs lately?” asked Mariah.
“Yes,” I replied, reaching for my phone to review the last text exchange I’d had with my boyfriend. “His modeling career is going a lot better than mine, that’s for sure. He was in London a couple of weeks ago and now Paris. But he promised he’d be back in time to come with me to Jessie and Steven’s wedding. They’re getting married at Hillcrest Resort up in the wine country.”
“Oooh, that sounds like the perfect place to get married,” said Mariah as the microwave dinged.
“The resort definitely looks amazing from the website. In fact, Dax and I decided to go up a couple of days before everyone else arrives. I’m hoping he’ll get ideas.” I smiled, thinking of my gorgeous boyfriend with his chiseled all-American good looks.
Mariah laughed and retrieved a large serving bowl from one of the cupboards. She pulled the bag of hot popcorn from the microwave and opened it, sending a swirl of steam rising to the ceiling. The smell of the buttery, salty food flooded the apartment, and my stomach screamed with desire. I reached for the giant plastic water bottle on the coffee table and hastily drank, hoping that the liquid would somehow drown out my hunger.
“Gabe keeps trying to talk to me about tying the knot,” Mariah continued, pouring the fluffy white kernels into the bowl. “But I’m just not ready to get serious right now. I’m pretty sure he’s the one, but I don’t want to rush into anything. I’d hate to go through what my parents did, with their divorce.”
“Timing is everything,” I agreed. Suddenly the ringtone on my phone played the familiar tune signaling an incoming text message from Dax.
“Tell Dax I said ‘hi’,” said Mariah, bringing the bowl of popcorn into the room and resuming her position on the couch.
