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“That’s not your concern.”
“It is when you’re on my property to administer your special brand of justice.”
“I wasn’t going to kill him here. There are rules in Fairhaven.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know, I know. You only wanted to frighten him into good deeds. And it would’ve worked too, if not for the meddling stranger.”
Charles folded his arms and glared at me. “This is a public cemetery.”
“The records are a little murky on that point. Either way, I’ve already asked your friends to take their nonmurdery business elsewhere, and that includes you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think you know with whom you’re having the pleasure.”
“Charles Diamond, a descendant of the Italian Renaissance and master of tarot cards, member of La Fortuna and the local Assassins Guild.” I omitted ‘face like a penis’ for obvious reasons. “Anything else I should know?”
His jaw tightened. “I don’t find you funny.”
“Let the record show that Mr. Diamond lacks a sense of humor. Anything else?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t antagonize him, Lorelei. He looks strong.”
I wasn’t sure how long Nana Pratt had been eavesdropping. At least I knew the elderly ghost was beyond the reach of Charles Diamond, no matter how many tarot cards he’d mastered.
I was relieved when he took a step toward the gate. “Next time you interfere with my business, I won’t be as forgiving,” he said, shaking an angry finger at me.
“I don’t need your forgiveness, Chuck. Now skedaddle before I call your boss, Mr. Sullivan.”
My comment irked him. His hands balled into fists. “Sullivan isn’t my boss.”
“Ooh, touchy subject. He’s not the boss of you. Got it. Riddle me this, Mr. Diamond. If he isn’t your boss, then why is he in charge of your elite organization?”
“We’re done here,” he replied tersely. He stalked toward the bridge that crossed over the would-be moat, kicking over the bag of groceries as he passed by. Blueberries spilled across the ground.
“Asshole! Those are organic, six bucks for six ounces!” I yelled.
He responded by giving me the finger without turning around. What a gem.
I hurried to collect the bags and carry the contents inside the house before the frozen items thawed.
“I’m sure your visitor will eat the blueberries if you don’t want to eat them,” Nana Pratt said, pointing to the giant bird perched on the iron finial by the entrance gate.
“For a dollar an ounce, I’ll rinse them off,” I replied. “The bird must be finding plenty of food around here if he keeps coming back. He doesn’t need my produce.” We’d noticed the bird several times in recent months, standing sentry at the gate like a feathery gargoyle. Not that the blackbird had proven very effective at keeping out intruders, nor was the ‘No Trespassing’ sign I’d painted in bold red letters. I had a ward installed, but that only alerted me to arrivals. It wasn’t designed to keep anyone out, although I was beginning to think an upgrade was in order.
“I don’t know why the bird doesn’t stick to the woods,” Nana Pratt mused. “I would think there are more options there for him.”
“More food maybe, but less entertainment,” I said. “Would you mind opening the front door?”
My two resident ghosts had been practicing their poltergeist skills the past couple months. At first, I’d been reluctant to indulge them because it would only encourage them to spend more time around the house, but they’d proven themselves useful, so I decided to help them learn. Besides, Ray loved to read and, as books were one of my greatest pleasures, I didn’t feel right denying him access to them in the afterlife. If he could turn his own pages, then he wouldn’t pester me to do it for him. A win-win.
Nana Pratt managed to open the door far enough for me to squeeze into the house.
“I’m improving,” she said with a note of pride. She made a move to follow me inside.
“I didn’t say you could come in.” When I first moved to the Castle and allowed the two ghosts to stay, I issued the rules. The first rule was no entering the house without permission. We’d experienced varying degrees of success with that one, but I was determined to keep trying. Of course, I made the fatal flaw of threatening to force them to cross over if they disobeyed, and then not following through when they trampled my boundaries. I’d basically revealed my threat to be empty.
Except it wasn’t. I simply decided not to exercise the option … yet.
“May I please come in?” Nana Pratt asked in a kindly voice. “I’d like to see the progress you’ve made inside.”
