AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Angel. Did you hear me? You should move in here.”
“Um. Why?”
I contemplate for a second telling her the no holds barred truth. Because I am in love with you. Have been for the past few months. I don’t want to sleep anymore with you somewhere else. Plus, I don’t trust you to not try to kill yourself again.
You know. That truth. But, I can see that not going over too well. So I go for the secondary truth.
“Because even though we don’t know each other well, deep down you know you can trust me. I know you don’t want to room with some bitch ass girl you don’t know, this year. I have plenty of space here for you. Then, neither of us has to be alone anymore. You have somewhere safe to live and I have another car you use to go from here to campus. You would get your room and board money back to use as a savings for yourself, to buy whatever you wanted, or needed, because I know you wouldn’t let me buy you anything and we would both win. What do you think?”
I chuckle a bit, because she is leaning away from me like I am certifiable or something. And the truth is, I might be. But only for her. I would like nothing more than to take care of her for the rest of her life and I plan to do just that. But I have to get her there slowly.
“Why are you willing to do this for me? You hardly know me.”
“The truth Angel. Or at least the only truth you are ready for…. because your torn baby. Somehow you have been torn apart and I want to stitch you back together. Maybe in doing so, you can stitch me too.”
My confession throws her. It throws me too that I said it out loud, but it is true. She can put me back together as well.
She stares into my eyes, searching, digging, and trying to see into the part of me that I have kept buried for so long. A part of me wants her to find something. Anything, that tells her who I am. Maybe save me the pain of having to relive it.
I know when she has finished on her quest because she nods her head slightly. In a move that shocks the shit out of me, she leans in and chastely kisses my lips.
“OK Luke. I would like that.”
Holy shit!!!! I seriously didn’t think she would say yes. I had this whole speech prepared and even some handcuffs. What? I am not above dirty tactics to get what I want.
“That's good Angel. So why don’t we go back to your dorm, grab your stuff, and then you can talk to the financial aid office tomorrow. Sounds good?”
“Sounds good.”
Chapter Nine
LYDIA
It has been a little over a month since Luke and I made our arrangement. I could lie and say it has been easy, that I miraculously changed, and everything is fine. I could have pretended that. But the truth is, it was hard. The first two weeks were like an itching feeling under my skin. Kind of like, tiny spiders were crawling under the surface. It was unnerving at first, because I couldn’t figure out why my body was so anxious. But then one day it hit me. I haven't been alone long enough to think about ending it and my body or mind, whichever you want to call it, is going through some sort of withdrawal.
What is even more unsettling is that Luke seems to be intune to exactly what I am going through, because he always knows the next right time to distract me with a movie night, going out to dinner, or even a slow burning make out session. Yes. We have been making out. It feels so foreign and yet so right.
Whenever his hands touch me in any way, albeit sexual or otherwise I go up in flames and I love it.
The feelings I am having an issue with, are the feelings of a needle and thread going in and out of my body.
There are moments when I feel the sadness creeping in and trying to take over. In those moments I am trying to be so strong not just for me, but also for Luke. I can sense the darkness and sadness inside of him as well. It is in those moments when I feel as if I am being pierced with a needle all over my body. Like the darkness is trying to poke holes in me, so it can seep inside and take over. But as I said, whenever Luke is around he and he alone has the ability to close those holes and pull them back together. He seems to have an invisible piece of thread attached to me for that sole purpose.
That has been the hardest part of all of this. It is navigating my feelings and trying to figure it all out.
What I do know for sure is that I have never felt safer and slept more soundly. Wrapped in his arms. He spoils me constantly and that is something I will never get used to.
“Hey Angel. How was your day?” He asks as he hugs and kisses me. Something else I hope to never get used to. The constant affection he gives. All the time.
“It was good. I had two papers due so, busy. I cannot wait for winter break. What are you doing home so early?” As soon as I ask the question he gives me his ‘he has a secret’ face.
“Well if you must know, all I had today was my internship and now I am home to take you out on a date.”
“Wait. What?”
“You heard me baby. We are going out on a date. Tonight.”
I knew this was going to come, eventually. But somehow, I thought I would be more prepared. I am in no way ready for this. I…. I look a mess. I didn't go get pretty or anything beforehand. Not that I would even know how. And my public skills are horrible. All I will do is embarrassed him and I will die before I do that to him.
