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He nodded. “I’m going to school tomorrow, Mommy! I can’t wait!”
“Me, too, sweetie,” she murmured. “I’m so happy you have this. It’s wonderful that we don’t have to keep moving and that you found everything you wanted.” She kissed him again. “Sleep well, sweetie. I’ll just be in the next room if you need me.”
“Good night, Mommy.”
She stood up and walked out of the room, but I didn’t want to leave—not yet. This was my moment—my moment to be a father for the first time.
I moved into the room and he stared up at me with those enormous, hypnotizing green eyes as I got nearer. I sat down on the bed next to him. I would have liked to touch him and kiss him the way she did, but I didn’t want to cross the line too soon.
I made a snap decision and rested my hand on the blanket crossing his chest. “I’m glad you’re here. I want you to have a safe place to grow up with your cousins and relatives.”
“Wilcox said we could go out to the courtyard tomorrow. Is that true? Are we allowed to go outside?” His eyes darted toward the door. Was Riley listening to this? “It isn’t too dangerous?”
“Naw,” I told him. “You aren’t a prisoner. You can go outside anytime you want—I mean, when you aren’t in class with Barker. You can go out there on your breaks or Wilcox can take you after you finish with your class.”
He burst into a huge grin and then got very, very serious. “I like it here.”
“It suits you. You fit right in. I knew you would.”
“I’m glad you brought us here. I didn’t think I would find a place like this. It’s everything I wanted all in one place.”
That was all the expression of gratitude I needed. “I’m glad I could give you this. I want to make sure you have everything you need—including sleep.” I took a chance and kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning and we can go downstairs and get breakfast together.”
I went back over to the door and looked back to find him staring at me. I had to summon all my resolve to turn off the light and lose sight of him. I didn’t even put it past myself to come in here later and watch him sleep.
How could all my hopes and dreams fit into such a small package? How could such a frail, unimposing boy represent all my hidden desires and fantasies for my life?
I got everything I wanted all in one place, too. It was all lying right there in that bed.
I turned away and shut the door to find Riley sitting on the bed in my room. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she covered her mouth with one hand. She must have heard every word Connor and I just said to each other.
I shut my bedroom door. Now it was just the two of us. I could fuck her all night long and tease her by making her keep quiet so she wouldn’t wake up Connor, but tonight meant something else.
I sat down next to her and put my arms around her. She rested her head on my shoulder and sniffled quietly for a while. Life was getting real for both of us in a big, big way. I was a father and we were a family—just the three of us.
I held her for a while and then stood up to take off my clothes. She started undressing and then we both crawled into bed. I switched off the light and we snuggled down under the covers with our arms around each other.
This feeling of holding her after so many years apart—I couldn’t imagine any sweeter pain in life. I lost her and found her again. Now she was in my room, in my bed, and in my arms.
I kissed her forehead and sank into the mattress with a deep, quaking sigh. I never realized until right now just how much I needed her. My life was a disaster without her in it—almost as much of a disaster as hers had been.
I lost my dad. Then I lost Riley and her mom. Riley’s mom was the only mother I ever had. My dad took me away from the Clan when I was too young. I never knew my real mother until I came back to the Clan five years ago.
I couldn’t exactly blame her for hating Riley’s mom, but no one would replace Riley’s mom in my heart. She loved me and cared for me. She gave me a home after my dad died. Leaving her hurt almost as much as losing Riley.
I’d been alone ever since. I thought I’d never love anyone again and now she was back in my arms where she belonged. We were parents. We were a family.
This feeling of her warmth against my side—this feeling put something back together that had been broken for a long time. She put my heart back together. So much painful love and happiness poured out of me that my heart felt like it would crack all over again.
I might not be able to take the pain, but nothing would stop me from doing this. No force on Earth would ever stop me from loving them as much as I possibly could.
15
RILEY
I tooka bite of my toast at the enormous table in the dining room. Connor already stood in a corner talking to the same boys he’d been playing with yesterday.
Kingston wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin and stood up. “I’m going to take Connor upstairs to his class. I’ll be back in a little while.”
