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“My son, you’vebeen here for the past three weeks and it seems to me you’redigressing instead of progressing.” The lama lowered himself tothe simple straw mat and poured some of the flavored tea into twodelicate cups. “You’re still restless and haunted, iswhat I’d call it. What is it you are seeking?”
Kenji accepted thecup and took a sip of the familiar tea. The meditation was done withfor the morning, and it was now time for some reflections. He’dbeen here before when he was a very young boy. His dad had paid avisit here, and he’d found a strange sense of peace here.That’s one of the reasons he’d come back.
“I’mtrying to get there.”
The old man smiledgently, dark eyes assessing. “You haven’t opened up aboutthe problems chasing you.” He patted the air. “In orderto find peace, one must first let go of the inner turmoil chasingaround in the mind.”
“Is that somesort of sage advice?” Kenji asked him mildly. He hadn’tshaved his hair, nor was he wearing the deep red Tibetan Kashaya orrobe that was required of the monks. He’d been accepted withoutquestion, which was something he needed at the time.
“It is.”Wise eyes wandered over the handsome face. “Here’sanother one – running away does not solve any problems. Who isthe young lady?”
Kenji grimaced andtook another sip. “It’s complicated, and I did somethingterrible. I left.”
“Ah. You havethings to sort out up here.” He touched his shiny bald dome.“Before they can be sorted here.” He placed a hand overwhere his heart was. “Only then will you find the peace youseek.”
Kenji stared into hiscup. He hadn’t been sleeping well, as his nights were plaguedwith memories of her. He should have treated the encounter with morefinesse. Certainly, he shouldn’t have touched her. Now thingswere more complicated than ever.
He had sent emails toKane, assuring him that he was okay and would be in touch whenever hecould. He’d deliberately not inquired about her. He was hopingshe’d moved on, even if the thought of it made him all twistedup inside. “I need more time.”
“Time isn’tthe issue here. Your frame of mind is.”
“I still needto be here until I've sorted things out inside my head.”
“You arewelcome here for as long as you need to be.”
*****
“It’s alavish affair,” Kelly murmured, coming to stand next toChantelle. “Love the outfit.”
“Thank you.”The party was still going on, and the bride and groom were dancing upa storm. “They look happy.”
“They’llprobably be divorced before the ink is dried on the prenup,”Kelly laughed softly at the surprised look on the younger girl’sface. “God, I’m so cynical. My man hates that aboutme.”
“You don’tthink they’ll last?”
“All the moneyspent on the ceremony. The wedding party consisted of twenty peopleand the bride’s dress was too elaborate. All that yards oflace.” Her mouth twisted slightly. “Money that could havebeen used for so much good. There’s a foundation we just pickedup homeless children in the Philippines. I looked at all of this-
“She waved ahand at the surroundings, “And I think about those poorchildren in need of medical attention and who can’t affordclean drinking water.”
She snagged a fluteand gulped it down. “My husband would tell me that I’mmad.” She smiled at Chantelle. “I sound preachy.”
“You soundindignant.” Chantelle stared around the room. “I have toagree with you. When I tie the knot, it’s going to be somethingsimple and tasteful.”
“I don’tblame you.” Kelly wanted to bring up the touchy subject but hadpromised her husband she would stay away from that minefield. “Youdid a very good job.”
“The mother ofthe bride and the bride herself expressed their appreciation.”
“As theyshould. You worked tirelessly on the event.”
“Just doingmy job.”
“More thanthat, I think.” Kelly waved to a few friends. “You’recertainly an asset.”
Chantelle felt thetears gathering at the back of her eyes and willed them away. She’dbeen getting increasingly emotional, veering from happiness to severedepression and wondering what the hell was going on with her.“Thanks.”
Kelly shook her headand, taking her arm, led her to one corner of the room. “Kaneis going to kill me, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t saysomething. Kenji is- “
“No.”Chantelle gripped her clipboard. “I don’t want to talkabout him. Please. Especially now. I thought I was over it, over him,but I’m still-“ Grabbing some tissue from the box on thesmall table, she blew her nose delicately. “I’m sorry.”Taking a deep breath, she stepped back. “I have to go.”
