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“It is, but how about we do this just for us? I want you to meet my brothers. I want you on my arm,” I say before I swallow, laying out my cards. She has to know this has nothing to do with our arrangement, right?
Her shoulders soften, and she gives me a small smile. One I’ll keep with me all day.
“Okay,” she agrees as her big eyes gaze up at me. “Just for us.”
“Okay,” I reply, leaning in, taking her lips with mine and feeling like I have just hit the jackpot.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR - EMILY
I watch my daughter as she sits up straight, ready to try again.
“Siri, call George,” she says in a loud, clear voice. My phone is right in front of her on the coffee table as we both sit on the floor in front of it.
Calling George now, the automated voice repeats, and we hear it ringing. She giggles a little at her success. We are usually both tired after a big day at school, but we have been sitting here since we got home, me teaching her how to use the phone, even though it is just past five and I need to start getting dinner ready.
“Hello?” George answers, like it isn’t the tenth time we have done this in the last fifteen minutes.
“George, it’s me!” Rosie sings, ecstatic that she now has a new skill, her independence growing.
I have been saving for months to buy this phone, my old phone no longer suitable and one Rosie couldn’t use. I needed something that she could operate with her voice, and Siri is our latest addition. I tell myself it is in case of emergencies, and it is. But I know Jeremy is our most likely emergency. I should really move back in with George. It is the smart and safer choice. But I don’t want to. Losing my independence, losing my sense of self, my identity… No longer Emily Carr, but the woman who constantly needs a protector or someone to hide behind, it makes me feel pathetic. But as frustrating as this is, I’m grateful to have the option all the same.
“Okay, girls, I need to work, and you need to call someone else,” George huffs, pretending to be grumpy, when deep down, I know he loves it. But we say goodbye, knowing he is doing the monthly financials for the school.
He is stressed, though. The fire department arrived at the school this morning, because apparently, they received a tip that we were operating without everything up to code. As soon as they arrived, George and I knew what had happened. Beasley is no doubt starting to exert his control, but aside from a few minor defects, we were fine.
“Okay, bye!” Rosie sings into the phone, and George hangs up.
“Who else can we call, Mommy?” Rosie asks, still keen to keep playing. I think about Sarah, but she is having a parent-teacher meeting, and I know Allie is just starting night school for her teaching diploma.
“Oh, I know! Siri, call Ben!” Rosie says, bouncing in her seat.
Calling Ben, the automated voice says.
“No, Rosie. Stop, Siri,” I panic because I am sure he is working or busy with something more important.
“Hey, baby,” he answers, his swoony voice piercing through the fabric of uncertainty that I was cloaked in moments ago, now leaving me flushed.
“Hi, Ben!” Rosie almost screams in delight, and I hear him laughing through the line.
“Hey, Rosie! What are you up to?” Ben asks, and I imagine him in his office, taking a break from his paperwork.
“Mom is teaching me how to call people on her new phone!” she says in delight.
“Is she now? Well, you can call me anytime you want, okay?”
“Ahhh, you might regret saying that. She has already called George ten times in the last half hour.” I slide into their conversation as a smile graces my lips that the two of them get along so well without me.
“Well, I could use the distraction. I’m at my mother’s.”
“Oh, does she let you use her Siri, Ben?” Rosie asks innocently.
“No, Rosie, she doesn’t.” He sighs, but then catches himself. He really must have a strained relationship with her. It is sad because I can’t imagine not being close to my child.
“How was school today?” he asks, and I can hear people talking in the background.
“Oh, we went to the library today. We met the mayor! And someday, I want to meet the president!” Rosie says with a big smile. She loved learning all about the government today. Mayor Simplot is obviously making time for us in his busy schedule now that he has some serious sucking up to do to George.
“Really? What about the governor?” Ben asks, and I hear the voices behind him getting louder.
