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Price?
Surely, she couldn't mean…
His face heated so quickly he felt as if he’d stuck his head in a forge. “I am…” Damn his throat for closing and his body for standing fully to attention. “I am not inclined to enter the pleasure garden, madam.”
“You are delightful.” Another tap to his nose with the leaf. “But no.”
He was afraid to ask.
He was also afraid to remain in these vines until he expired. He’d remain unfound in this remote corner of the estate until one day his skeletal remains were discovered by a horny minotaur and his latest conquest. Out of all possible ends, that particular demise was very far down Theo’s list.
He cleared his throat. “Then what?”
“Merely an explanation.”
He sucked in a breath, ready to inform her that it was none of her business—until it occurred to him that it would indeed be her business if she lent him aid. As much as she had the conversational inclinations of a Vauxhall harlot, she’d evidenced no hint of ill will toward the Ball, the attendees of the Monsters Ball, or the Broadstone grounds. She was a monster who had been attending said ball herself. She needed to know if his current state was the result of mischievous folly, or if she’d aided someone intent on doing harm.
It’s certainly what he’d have demanded.
He released the air he’d been holding. “I accept your terms.”
“I rather thought you might,” she said, resting her chin on her palm, while somehow remaining perfectly balanced on the narrow branch. “Very well. Out with it, my lord.”
“I am not a lord,” he said. “I am Mister Theodore Essex, and I’m hanging from this damned wall because I was supposed to accompany my sister to the Ball. Only the bloody footmen—”
“Kicked you to the curb upon arrival?” She clicked her tongue. “They’re rather fond of doing that. And rather large. I do appreciate that, but I can see why a human such as yourself would opt not to argue.”
“Gee, thanks,” he muttered.
“Of course.” She waved a hand. “Orcs are large and monstrously hard to deter once they’re set on bludgeoning something.” Her head tilted. “Yet that doesn’t explain how you came to be in the vines.”
Theo had thought he couldn’t sink any lower than when he’d begged Mister Hamsley to take him on as an apprentice. He’d had to offer the greasy little man nearly every coin to his name and promise to clean his offices on a weekly basis simply to secure the position—Theo might have been in line to inherit a Baronetcy, but he was also the son of a complete wastrel. He’d been forced to give up on becoming a barrister because of the cost and he’d barely obtained a position with a solicitor—who’d only accepted Theo as his apprentice for the satisfaction of lording over someone set to inherit a baronetcy.
It had been five years of degradation and dangerous assignments, and he was finally at the brink of applying for recognition and admittance to the practice as a solicitor. That moment was meant to mark the end of his helplessness and spark a new era of independence.
But no.
Here he was, prostrating himself before a harpy.
Still, all things considered, the monstrous lady was a far improvement from Mister Hamsley. She was charming and willing to give aid to someone in need—neither of which were qualities his mentor possessed.
And he should be a bloody gentleman about it.
“My apologies, madam,” he said. “I fear I’m out of sorts and most concerned for my sister. She was ordered to attend the Ball against her will, and I promised I would be there to accompany her.”
“And that I cannot mock,” the lady said softly. “I’d best untangle you.”
With a sigh, she rolled to her feet—giving him a view of a great deal of leg in the process. As a harpy, her lower half was a tantalizing mix of human and bird. Her feet were three powerful claws that led into slender shins that were slung backward like a bird-of-prey. From her knee, he caught a flash of shapely thigh that curved like a pair of fitted pantaloons.
A beautiful and deadly form.
It should have been impossible to become more heated at the sight, but his body didn’t care for the odds. The unexpected spike of pure lust that went through him would have bowled him over if he hadn’t been caught up in vines. He swore his spectacles fogged.Good grief.It had clearly been far too long since he’d been with a woman, because he was about to choke on his tongue.
As she gripped the ivy overhead, he took a breath and fixed his gaze on a nearby tree.
That smaller branch was growing out of a larger knot almost as if…
Stop it.
