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“What’s he doing?”
“Flipping me off.”
Clark peeked through the railing. The guy was climbing into his truck and a few seconds later, the obnoxious roar of a tailpipe shattered the tranquility of the woods as he backed out of the driveway out of sight.
“And that is why I panicked and walked away last night,” Clark growled, gathering his fallen mug from the ground and pouring himself another cup.
“Come again?”
“Merry always dates the jocks. Cocky dickheads that used to toss my books in the trash or trip me as I walked down the halls. That is what she falls for, not me.”
“Seems to me you’re not exactly the skinny book nerd you were ten years ago.”
“Not on the outside, but inside I’m still the same fucked-up, insecure asshole who shafted the world before they could do it to him.”
“I notice your language gets downright filthy when you’re irritated. I like it.”
“I try to watch my mouth around Jace, but I’m tired and pissed at myself.” Clark took a deep, calming breath. “I’m going to apologize to Merry for walking out on her, but I’m not giving her the letter.”
“Why? Because she brought a guy home after you shattered her self-esteem, maybe even her heart?”
“No, because she said she wanted me and then the minute I disappointed her, Merry fell back on old habits. Assholes in lifted trucks.”
Sam covered his chest, his eyes widening mockingly. “As opposed to the asshole in the Jeep who can’t even admit he’s crazy about her?” His expression went flat, matching his wry tone. “Yeah, I can see how that would be a dilemma for Merry.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Clark snapped.
“No, it’s supposed to wake your ass up. You might be all mature when it comes to money and finances, but you’re an adolescent with women. Merry doesn’t owe you anything and she can sleep with anyone she wants. It doesn’t diminish her or that big beautiful heart she carries around on her sleeve. If you can’t see that, then you don’t deserve her.”
His brother picked up the pot of coffee and went back inside, the door shutting with a thwack behind him. Clark leaned on the porch railing with his coffee cup cradled in his hands, the letter in his pocket whispering to him.
Flashes of Merry rolled through his mind like a film reel. Chasing Butch around the yard. Walking among the trees with him. Gazing up at him, her lips parted. Whispering his name.
“We’ll just go back to the way things were and stick to three subjects. The weather, the farm, and your son.”
The idea of regressing to avoiding each other left him morose.
Clark wanted Merry to look at him with those golden-green eyes again, not with hurt or anger but with that radiant sparkle he’d only experienced when she smiled. He wanted more of her impromptu hugs, the ones that came without warning and chipped away every force field he’d built around his emotions. He wanted to know what it was like to be the best part of her day, not another guy who’d made her cry. Clark wanted to be the man Merry thought he was before last night.
And the only way to do that was to make a move.
Clark left his coffee cup on the railing and strode down the steps, eating up the distance between their homes with urgency.
He burst through her gate, trying to slow his breathing as he knocked on her door. Merry’s voice came out of the camera doorbell to his left, the circle camera lit up red.
“What is wrong with you? Banging on someone’s door like that?”
“I knocked. I didn’t bang.”
“You shook my door,” she snapped.
“I’m sorry. I need to talk to you, Merry, and I don’t want to do it through a door.”
“Listening to you isn’t on my agenda for today, so kindly remove yourself from my front stoop.”
Clark frowned, his gaze boring into the camera lens. “You said I was going to have to do a lot better than I’m sorry if I was going to make it up to you.” He pulled the letter out of his pocket, holding it up so she could see it. “I couldn’t remember everything I wanted to say so I wrote it down.”
Several moments passed and he backed down one step, about to slide the letter in his back pocket.
