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Felix slowed down, taking a deep breath as he pressed their foreheads together. “Sorry. I was so fucking scared earlier, and I’m…I don’t even know. I don’t know how I feel.”
“That’s alright,” Dei told him. “But is there any chance you wanna come home with me? My leg’s killin’ me, and I just want to lay in bed and hold you.”
Felix pulled back just slightly, his eyes narrow and dark with purpose. “Is that all?”
Dei felt a quiet rumble of need rush through him, and he cupped Felix’s cheek, running his thumb over his lush lower lip. “I suppose I could be convinced otherwise. So long as you’re there.”
“I need you,” Felix said. “I feel really insecure right now.”
Dei squeezed his eyelids shut and wrapped his arm around Felix, holding him a bit tighter. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know. And it’s ridiculous that I’m all worked up over a few words and a misunderstanding, but…”
“No,” Dei told him. “It’s not ridiculous. I’ve been pushin’ you away all week with all the shit I have happening, and then I came at this all wrong. I should’a talked to you first before all this. Told you that I didn’t want space and that I needed as much of you as you could give me. And I’m gonna work on bein’ better for you.”
Felix met his gaze, then started to lean in for another kiss when the sound of the metal door slamming shattered the moment. Dei turned his head just in time to see Jamie and another guy behind him following in a wheelchair. Felix let out a soft groan and shook his head.
“Unless you want to have a whole conversation about what happened,” he murmured against Dei’s shoulder, “we should get the hell out of here. Like, now.”
Dei cupped Felix’s chin, lifting his face, and he kissed him fierce and firm. “Get in the truck, gorgeous. We have somewhere to be.”
22
Felix couldn’t stop his knee from bouncing as he rode beside Dei. He wished he could hold his hand, but it was worth it just to be near him as he processed Dei’s earlier words. Felix had envisioned those three little words about a hundred times since coming back from California. He’d come up with a hundred and one scenarios about how he’d react.
None of those had been by the side of Dei’s truck after a long day of Felix believing his heart was about to be shattered. He should have said them back in that moment. He was absolutely in love with Dei in ways he didn’t think he could be, but when he tried, the words refused to come out.
Maybe it was leftover fear that everything was about to fall apart. Or maybe he just wanted to be somewhere he felt safer. Dei didn’t seem to mind either. He just laughed as they escaped Jamie and Eli.
“The whole shop hates me, don’t they?” Dei asked after a long beat.
Felix winced. “Hate is a strong word. And Max is the world’s biggest fucking gossip queen, so I promise you everyone’s going to know part two by morning.”
He stared down at the last text on his phone, his chest warm and happy.
Jamie: As your newly appointed best friend I just need you to know that if he hurts you, I’m coming for him. Eli says same. He’ll run over his toes, and believe me that shit hurts.
“Sugar?”
Felix looked over at Dei, and it was only then he noticed how dark the bags were under his eyes and how exhausted he was. He felt a surge of guilt because Dei was now doing everything to apologize when Felix had been the one to panic and shut down. If he’d taken the time to wait for Dei—to be patient and trust him—he wouldn’t have worked himself up.
“Yeah?”
“You okay there?”
Felix rubbed at his eye. “Uh…no. Not really.”
“Honey, I am so sorry I—”
“No,” Felix said in a rush. He let out a small growl of frustration. “It’s not you. I promised to trust you and not let you push me away, and the second I felt like I was losing you, I just…lost it. I broke my promise, and I feel like shit about it.”
“Oh, darlin’,” Dei said from behind a sigh. “This is all a big mess.”
Felix laughed, the sound broken and watery. “Yeah. A bit.”
Dei made a quiet hum in the back of his throat. “Part of me wants to offer to drop you off at your place and talk about this in the morning, but I think I need you tonight if you’re up for it.”
“I don’t want to be alone,” Felix said very softly. The very thought made his stomach hurt. He wrapped his arms around his middle and said nothing else until they pulled up in front of Dei’s, and he couldn’t bring himself to move.
