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The last thing Felix wanted to do was talk about his shitty-ass family while the hottest man alive was in bed with him, half-naked, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. “Wanna share?”
Dei grinned, then leaned in and nipped at Felix’s jaw like he couldn’t help himself. “Let’s carve out some time for you to be sad about her without the weight of your family hangin’ over you.”
Felix hadn’t realized how much he needed that. He’d come to the funeral to shove himself in his family’s face because he wanted to show them he didn’t need them. He’d never need them. But in the midst of that, he’d forgotten that losing the one person in that family who loved him actually did hurt.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
Dei nodded, then shuffled a little closer, and his stump hit the top of Felix’s thigh. “Does it make me a bad person if I wanna keep touching you right now?”
Felix couldn’t help a laugh, shaking his head. “Fuck no. Unless we’re both bad people, which I think I’d be okay with, considering what I want to do to you.”
Dei groaned, then grabbed Felix around the back of the neck and kissed him hard, and desperate, and filthy. His tongue filled Felix’s mouth, pushing deep, threatening to choke him with it. Felix took it, though, going pliant because that was exactly what he wanted.
No, what he needed.
“More,” he gasped when Dei pulled back for air.
Dei looked at him with dark, heavy-lidded eyes. “I want you, darlin’. More’n I’ve ever wanted anyone. But it’s not gonna be like it is with everyone else.”
“I know,” Felix said. “You just have to tell me how I can make you feel good.”
Dei bit his lower lip, his gaze cutting off to the side for a long second. “Will you touch me on my cock? No better way to get this over with than dive right in.”
Felix could tell how terrified Dei was—like maybe Felix might jump up and run away when he finally saw the evidence of how different Dei’s body looked. It just went to show that Dei didn’t understand how profoundly and intensely Felix felt about him.
He could have been a literal Ken Doll, and Felix wouldn’t have given a shit so long as it meant he got to keep him. But he wasn’t going to say that. It sounded callous and unfeeling, and that was the last thing he ever wanted to be.
Taking a breath, Felix pulled back just a little, then traced a touch down the front of Dei’s tank top until he reached his boxers. They were silky and slung low down around his hips, and Felix hesitated only a moment before slipping his hand past the elastic. He could feel Dei holding his breath—feel every muscle in his body tense as he explored—and he would have given anything to be able to just prove his devotion with a single kiss.
“Lower,” Dei said when Felix’s fingers met thick, coarse hair.
Felix closed his eyes and moved his hand low—lower, until he came to a hard, throbbing mound.
“That’s it,” Dei said, slightly breathless. Felix’s fingers spasmed on it, and Dei grunted. “God. It feels…no one’s touched me there in a damn long time.”
“This is…uh…your dick, right?”
“That’s what’s left of it,” Dei murmured. He leaned his torso back, and then his hand joined Felix’s so he could guide him lower to where his balls were hanging. “They saved the sac—gave me a prosthetic for the one I lost. I was high as a fuckin’ kite when I agreed to that, but not sure I hate it now.”
“Is it…does it feel…like before?” Felix asked.
Dei snorted a laugh. “The left side ain’t as sensitive as the right, but with your hand there, I feel like I could go off like a goddamn rocket.”
Felix swallowed heavily, then forced his eyes open as he moved his hand back up to cup Dei’s dick. “Can you come?”
“Fuck. Yeah, yeah, darlin’. I can come. Want to real bad,” Dei groaned.
Felix turned to face Dei better and adjusted his hand so he was cupping him, feeling the hard nub against his palm. Dei was panting, rocking his hips forward as he clutched onto Felix’s hip. “Like that?”
“Harder,” Dei begged. “Gonna nut all over your fingers, sweetheart. I can’t hold back. I need you.”
Felix was wild with desire as he rubbed the heel of his hand against Dei’s hardness. It twitched and got fatter, thicker, harder, and Felix felt his own dick start to respond. “What do you need me to do? Tell me what to do,” Felix all but begged.
Dei leaned back with a sharp look in his eye. “Take your boxers off, sweetness. Want you to rub your dick all over mine.”
“Fuck,” Felix hissed, wild with desire at being given orders. The sensation was new, and it was almost terrifying, and he never wanted the feeling to stop. He scrambled to obey, watching as Dei hooked his fingers in the waistband of his own and slid them down toward his knee. Felix couldn’t look away as inch after inch of flesh became exposed.
Dei had perfectly cut hips, scarred on one side, smooth and dotted with freckles on the other. More skin emerged, and then thick, black hair. Nestled in the thatch was exactly what Felix had felt: a round, hard, thick nub he could see twitching with want. Below that hung his balls—fat and heavy, and Felix felt a sudden urge to put his mouth on them.
