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Luca gave him a flat look. “Really?”
“You asked.” Raphael’s grin softened, and then he shifted close enough to lay his head on Luca’s shoulder, and he nestled in. “I like you.”
The tone was nothing like the way Wilder had used. There was no desperation, no passion, no want. Just a simple fact. Raphael was his friend because he liked Luca. He found worth in him beyond what Luca could offer. He was too afraid to accept it, but too lonely to deny what Raphael was offering so readily and so easily.
He slung his arm around Raphael’s shoulders and let him settle in closer. “Why are you single?”
“Too many reasons to list. Mainly because I haven’t found anyone I want to date. It’s hard work, and it never ends well.”
“Never?” Luca pressed.
“For me.” Raphael let out a sigh. “You’re not trying to play matchmaker with me, are you? Jayden starts up his nonsense every couple of months, and I don’t need another one of those in my life.”
Luca bit back a comment about how he wasn’t going to be around that long, because frankly he wasn’t sure what the future held. He liked Wilder—and he would eventually reach the fork in the road where he’d have to choose, because Wilder wasn’t going to be like Noah. There would be no closing the bakery doors and riding off into the sunset. They were new—they were more than new. They liked each other, but their lives were strangers in different universes.
“I just wondered. I don’t think relationships are the only way for people to be happy.”
Raphael chuckled, sounding tired. “They aren’t. Knox—have you met him?”
Luca shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“He’s the Captain of the Fire Department. He also has the blacksmith booth at the Market.” When Luca shook his head again, Raphael shrugged. “We fuck sometimes.”
Unable to stop himself, Luca startled. “You fuck sometimes?”
“He’s nice and very attractive. Very good in bed,” Raphael said, looking up with a wide grin. “But he doesn’t date. He’s grey…something…” His brow furrowed, nose wrinkled. “I can’t remember the word. He normally doesn’t want relationships. Sometimes he connects to people, but it’s rare.”
“Grey aromantic,” Luca murmured. He’d thought that about himself once, but he knew it wasn’t true. Just because his relationships never had meaning and never lasted didn’t mean he didn’t want one.
“It’s just as well. He’s not my type. But he’s happy, you know? Just as he is—with his job, and his hobby, and this city.”
“Is that you too?”
Raphael shuddered out a sigh, then turned his face into Luca’s side and groaned. “No. But I wish it was. It would make things so much easier. It does help that I haven’t met someone that makes me feel that…spark, you know?”
“I do,” Luca said softly. Because he did—God, he did. And he knew he would do anything to keep it.
“I’m not unhappy with life, even when I’m lonely.”
Luca felt that—deeply, profoundly. He turned his head and laid his cheek on Raphael’s hair and let himself take comfort in this moment that cost him nothing beyond a new, fragile friendship. “I thought I was. I mean, I thought I was content, at least, but I’m not so sure anymore.”
Raphael hummed. “Do you want to talk about your date? I’m assuming you were wrong about it not being one.”
Rolling his eyes, Luca sighed and shifted so they could cuddle a little more comfortably. “I was too afraid to assume, you know? He’s such a good person. He’s… I don’t know how to feel like I deserve this chance with him.”
“Being yourself is a good start,” Raphael said, elbowing him gently. “Being kind. Appreciating him. It’s not complicated.”
Luca bit hard on his lip. He knew all of this already. He was a stranger to real, actual intimacy, but he was old enough to know the basic mechanics of making a relationship work. “Do you think,” he started, then stopped because he didn’t really have a question to ask. Or, if he was being brutally honest, any question he did have, he wasn’t sure he wanted an answer.
After a beat, Raphael pushed away from him gently and settled with his feet in Luca’s lap. They were stiff, his muscles small with very little give, but Luca decided to return the earlier favor and started to massage him.
Raphael’s head fell back with a small groan, and Luca smiled. “I knew this friendship was a good idea.”
Luca snorted. “Thanks.”
“I mean it. More than just dinner and massage, but I do appreciate it.” Raphael opened his eyes to shoot Luca a wink. “And to answer your question…”
“I didn’t really ask one,” he muttered, and Raphael huffed a laugh.
