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Even this many years later, and these many miles away, her grip on him had never fully let go.
And it was obvious Luca understood that—in some way. But he was only just now trying to find out who he was in all that mess, and Wilder wasn’t sure anyone in his little friendship community was strong enough to help him through it.
He made the turn up the ranch drive, the road a little rough, but Liam had been good about keeping it graded in the summer. Will had bought two dairy cows and a couple of horses, and he was offering riding lessons to some of the seasonal tourists in addition to the milk products he had set up in a little market stand right at the edge of his paddock.
It was never busy, but it was always open if someone need a get-away, and there was no better place to start than there.
“So, you know these guys?” Luca asked, his voice deep and rumbling in the silence between them.
Wilder’s hearing hadn’t fully come back since his vertigo attack, but with his hearing aids, he could make out most of his words in the car. “We’ll be hanging out with Will today, but his husbands might be around. Or well, Isaac might be.”
“Husbands?” Luca asked.
Wilder didn’t think there was judgment in his tone, so he shrugged. “I mean, not legally, but yes. Isaac works downtown, and Liam has a mechanic shop about a mile up the road.” He pulled up next to Will’s truck and put the car in park. “Will is sort of… he just does whatever strikes his fancy.”
“Sounds familiar,” Luca said, but he didn’t sound happy about it.
“Not what you were looking for?”
“I wanted to find some sort of direction. And I know that makes me sound like some middle-aged white woman in some Venetian villa after her second divorce, okay?”
Wilder’s lips twitched. “Okay.”
“But I actually am…” He stopped and let out a frustrated growl, dragging hands through his hair and disordering it with all the product. He looked wild and a little terrified, and somehow it made him even more attractive, which sent Wilder’s stomach into a spin. “I don’t think I’m going to find that missing piece of me on a fucking farm. I just wanted to meet some people and find out how they managed it.”
At that, Wilder softened entirely. It was the first time Luca said anything that made sense, the first time he spoke with real substance. “The fact that Will does whatever he wants doesn’t mean he spent his life like you. I don’t know him that well, but we’ve spent some time together, and I know he used to be a college professor before his husband left him. Then his dad died, and he inherited this piece of a preserve a couple hours from here where he herded Scottish cows and did rafting tours on the Chattahoochee.”
“And then he got married to two men and bought a ranch outside of Savannah?” Luca asked, only slightly mocking.
“Something like that. I think Will does whatever he wants because his life has meaning outside of traditional work.”
Luca sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again, this time putting it flatter. He had that effortless bedhead look of a man years younger than he was, and Wilder wondered if there was any real, lived life inside him.
“I don’t know if I want that.”
Wilder laughed and reached over, gently squeezing Luca’s shoulder. “I didn’t ask you out here so you could find a way to be like Will. You said you wanted to get your hands dirty, and this just seemed like a good start.”
Licking his lips, Luca’s gaze moved out the front windshield, then back to Wilder before lifting his hands. ‘Fine. Let’s do this.’
Wilder smiled and opened his door, climbing out and not bothering to wait and see if Luca was going to follow.
CHAPTER 9
Luca had never been so grateful to see a bag of frozen peas before in his life, and it also might have been the first time he wanted to cringe as an incredibly attractive man was reaching for his dick. The pain of taking a cow’s hoof to the balls was something he had never imagined before, and as embarrassed as he should have been for turning his head and vomiting what little breakfast he’d managed that morning, there wasn’t anything he could have done.
The only thing saving him in that moment was the fact that no one was laughing. Wilder looked horrified, and Will looked both resigned and apologetic as he managed to corral Dottie into what he called the ‘shame corner’ of the barn—a little fenced off area that had blankets and a nice fat salt lick.
Luca hadn’t had much time to investigate any of it before disaster struck.
Will had met them outside at the paddock gate, looking a little bit like a lumberjack with his flannel shirt and his wash of grey-streaked hair. His thick beard stretched around his big grin as he extended his hand, and he seemed enthusiastic to show Luca around.
They got as far as the barn entrance when he heard a horrible squawking sound, then the cow went running like she’d been spooked. She was coming right at him, and he attempted to get out of the way, but he managed to be at the exact right angle at her backside when she kicked out.
He heard Wilder make a noise and Will shout, “No!” but he didn’t understand why until he was suddenly on the ground, entirely unable to take a full breath.
The pain radiated down to his toes, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get up again. Eventually, though, Wilder got him up to a bench just inside the building, and Will hurried out, returning with frozen peas that sat resting against his aching crotch and soothing it less than he’d hoped.
“I think you should go to the ER,” Wilder said after a beat.
