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The baby.
Without another word, I’m grasping her hand in mine and we’re running back to my place where I left my bike.
By the time the garage door is open and my keys are in my hand, Cedar’s cheeks are streaking with tears I wish I could make go away, but I can’t.
My own chest is splitting when I plop my helmet on her head and mount the bike to insert the key and crank the engine over. It starts with a roar that hurts my ears and I’m walking the machine out onto the driveway to get the door closed as Cedar climbs on behind me.
The ride is tense, the damp air just cool enough to create chills that slice me right to the bone when I feel Cedar shake at my back. Her arms around me are stiff, and it drives me to speed faster, to get us closer to the hospital where I know one of my own brothers is waiting inside.
The echo of an engine registers in my brain when I contemplate taking the sidewalk to avoid a red light and has me checking my rear view to find a familiar bike filling the little glass mirror.
“Hold on,” I shout to Cedar over the sound of the engine when the light takes too long to change, despite the lack of traffic and I swerve us up over the curb and take the walkway around the corner. She tightens around me when we bump over shit that’s not meant to be driven on, leaning farther into my back.
Back on the pavement, I open the bike the fuck up, tearing up the asphalt and leaving trails of rubber behind.
It’s not long, though it feels too long, when the lit hospital comes into view and we’re pulling into the lot way too fast. Riding right up to the ER, Cedar is jumping off the back before I can even stop moving, my own body urging me to get the kickstand down where it is and leave it.
So I do. And I’m running after my girl in the direction of what feels like certain grief with a split open chest and panting breath.
“Aria Scarlett,”Cedar shrieks to the nurse’s station. “Where is she?”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Fin
Thewaitingroomispacked.
With security stationed at the entrance, outside of the hospital, and walking the halls, it’s feeling more and more like we’re trapped in a box of emotion.
It’s making me even antsier than when I walked in here.
Rex has paced the entire length of the sterile tile without saying a fucking word to anyone since we were led back here.
Mac filled us in when we arrived on a bunch of shit I’ll never even begin to understand about pregnant women and hospital policies, but has resolved to sitting in the corner with a view of the entire room. He set his sights on his twin that arrived just after us and hasn’t moved except to follow his brother’s pacing with his eyes.
Aurora and Cedar sit together in the only other chairs in the room, holding on to each other and whispering shit to keep each other calm. Judging by the constant bounce of Cedar’s knee and the damp Kleenex in her grip, I’d say that it’s not working.
And this is another moment where I feel like she needs something I’m not.
With my hands threading through my hair, I blow out deep breaths as often as I can force them to keep from raging all over the nurse’s station for some damn updates.
Something to ease the ache in everyone here.
And each time the door is opened, every one of us jerk to attention, only to be let down by whoever steps inside that’s not covered in scrubs.
I have to do something before I go mad.
All the waiting around, all the tension and unknown, is driving me insane.
But I’m torn.
Go to Cedar …
Or to my brother?
With my heart in my throat, I take one look at Rex’s red rimmed and unfocused eyes and know that there’s not a single thing I can do or say that will make the man feel better.
How would I feel if it were Cedar back there without me?
