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Wrapping my arms around my trembling body, I make my way to him. I give him my back while quickly peeling off my dress. I kneel in front of him as my body breaks into a tremor. He grips my hair painfully in his palm and pulls my head back, so he can see my face.
I wonder if he sees the shattered shell of the woman I once was. The one he met so long ago.What happened?I miss her, the girl I used to be, but I know I can’t go back in time. This is who I am now.
He wasn’t always like this. He was kind. He loved me. I felt it. It wasn’t just in my head. He’d make me breakfast in bed at his place, and at night we’d cuddle and talk. He’d stare deeply into my eyes and devour every word I said, like I truly mattered.
He slowly turned into a monster. It started innocently, with sarcastic remarks whenever I talked to or so much as looked at other men. It then progressed to grabbing my wrists a little too hard or gripping my hair a little too rough. The violence escalated quickly after that.
Leaving isn’t an option. He has something on me that could destroy my entire life, and I can’t let that happen. I just can’t. I face a dead end regardless of which road I choose, so I stay in this version of hell.
“Open your mouth.” I do what he wants. I always do. He grips the back of my head and pushes himself hard into me. My throat’s on fire all over again, reminding me he had just choked me. My eyes are heavy as more tears quietly cascade down my face.
Tightening his grasp on my hair, he pulls just enough to hurt me. “Nice and slow and use your tongue, or I’ll do that again.”Please don't. I can feel when he's almost done. I try to pull him out, but he keeps a firm grip on my head. My eyes close as his semen shoots into my throat.
“Mmm, that was good,” he murmurs, sounding completely blissed out. Meanwhile, I try not to throw up. He pulls out, but I stay on my knees. Frozen. My eyes are glued to the floor while my heartbeat roars from within.
“Go clean yourself up. You look like shit.” He finishes pulling his pants up. “I have to get home. I’ll call you tomorrow, baby. Sorry if I was a bit rough on you. You know I only do it for your own good. If you flirt with the wrong man, he could do far worse. I love you.” I feel a light kiss on the top of my head. Then he’s gone.
Chapter 6
Damian
Ican’t get the image of Lilah looking afraid out of my head. I wanted to dismember him, limb by bloody limb. He doesn’t love her; it was obvious from the way he spoke to her. If I find out he hurt her in any way, he’s dead.
I grab a full bag of trash and carry it out into the hallway to throw it out, but I abruptly stop and drop it beside my door. There’s a faint wailing sound coming from across the hall.What the fuck?My heart races and I pace back and forth undecidedly for a few moments, torn between whether to check on her or to wait. Deciding I can’t listen to those cries another second, I make my way toward her door. I knock a few times, but she doesn’t answer. Her cries turn silent as my knocks grow more urgent.
“Hey it’s me, Damian. Are you okay? Open up.” Still no answer.Shit. A sense of dread rolls through me. “Fine, ignore me. But I’ll be standing in front of your door until you answer. Once I see you’re all right I’ll go, if that’s what you want.”
A couple of minutes later, I hear the click of the lock. My gut tells me something isn’t right. My spine stiffens and I’m on high alert. I take some deep, steady breaths before gently turning the knob and opening the door. My training kicks in as I take in the room. There’s a small entrance table to my left with a sparkling, crystal vase still intact. The pink and yellow tulips taunt me with their beauty. Nothing looks out of place.
The living room is straight ahead, right past the entryway. I spot her sitting on a burgundy couch, the top of her head my only view. He isn’t here. He would’ve made himself known by now. I’m sure of it.
“Lilah, what’s wrong?” She doesn’t make a sound.She’s not my mother, I keep reminding myself. Just because I don’t like her boyfriend doesn’t mean he’s anything like my father.But my gut’s telling me something isn’t right here and I always trust my gut.
I take tentative steps forward, hearing nothing but the tapping of my own shoes against the entryway tile. A few more steps and I’m right behind her. I stop, needing time to compose myself because I know I won’t like what I find.
I round the corner and…Fuck. Her bloodshot eyes are expressionless, but brimmed with tears as she stares into nothing. The left side of her cheek is slightly red. But her neck? It’s angry and bruised. The image of my mother stabbed in the same spot plagues my mind so violently it’s as though I’m seeing her instead.This isn’t happening again.
I’m back to that little boy who watched his mother suffer for years before he found her bloody and dead. But I’m not a little boy anymore. My body is that of a man, and I refuse to let another woman lose her life because of a spineless prick.
I move in closer, just a step, and she flinches. “Lilah…” She looks down at her hands, fidgeting with her thumbs. “This isn’t your fault. I need you to know that.” I don’t want to scare her even more, but she has to know that the fault lies squarely with that motherfucker.
I recall all the times my mom blamed herself, as if the scars were her own doing. Fuck that. I won’t let Lilah feel that way. Not if I have anything to do about it. I wish he was here right now. I’d take his fucking head off.
She brings her robe up trying to cover the bruises that I’ve already seen. “May I sit? I won’t touch you. Not unless you tell me it’s okay.” The desire to comfort her is overwhelming.
She nods without lifting her head. I sit on the other end of the sofa and wait for her to say something, anything. The silence is deafening. My fists clench against my thighs and it’s hard to breathe. I can’t seem to calm down.
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” She continues to stare straight ahead. “I can be here all night if you want. I can stay on the sofa or the floor. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.” She still hasn’t looked at me, but I catch the fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. My heart shatters right there on her floor. Her eyes close as she cradles her arms around her body. I want to be the one to hold her.
“How about I make you some coffee?” I get up before she answers. I have to do something so I can stave off this unyielding need to break every one of his bones. But she’s what matters right now. I’ll worry about him later.
Lilah looks up at me, eyes glossy. Her head shakes side to side. “My throat hurts. I can’t drink anything.” Hearing her voice so hoarse turns my blood black, fueling my body until anger is the only thing I feel.
“I don’t want to push you to do anything right now, but you can’t let him get away with this.” I know I told her we didn’t have to discuss it but damn this is killing me.
She remains silent, staring off into nothing again. “Okay, we won’t talk about this right now. How about we find something funny to watch.” She bites her lip and nods. I lock her door, shutting off the lights, and then grab the remote off the coffee table, turning on the TV.
She stares at the screen, while I stare at her neck. It’s not my mother’s bloody body I see this time, it’s Lilah’s. Her lifeless eyes stare at me as she bleeds on the floor. My throat constricts, making it difficult to inhale. I can’t let that become her future. I won’t.
