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“Neither do I. Maybe we both need time to think this through.”
He grips my chin between two fingers. “I won’t give you up. Not again.”
“But you won’t keep me either.” He closes his eyes. The truth mingles with the air around us. “I’m going,” I murmur. “My car is across the street.” I slip out from his warmth and start walking away—from him, from us, from everything. I can’t just be a girl he sleeps with. I’ll start developing feelings he won’t reciprocate and that’ll crush me.
“Lexi…”
I spin around, hoping he changed his mind. “Yes?”
Hands in his pockets, he looks down at the ground. “Get home safe.”
“Yeah.” I cross the street, tears pooling in my eyes. For a moment I saw a glimpse of the real him before the darkness submerged it. If I could destroy his tormentors, I would. But I can’t bring him out of hell if he won’t reach out and grab my hand.
And as our distance grows, my heart’s left with only one question, what now?
CHAPTER7
LEXI
My alarm rings,the sound blaring across my bedroom as I grumble, hiding underneath my comforter. Can’t outrun that damn thing. I have to be at work in two hours, but I wanted to get a workout in at home first.
Exercising in the morning is the devil’s work, it really is, but I get too tired at night so here we are. Picking up my cell, I shut off the annoying sound.
Lying in bed, thoughts of Jax come storming in. For days since Damian’s party, all I’ve thought about is Jax and what to do. Our sexual chemistry is nothing I’ve ever experienced, not even with Aiden, and our friendship is easy and fun, but that’s all it could ever be, and I don’t know if I could live with that…or maybe I could? I’m so torn and lost, I just want to hold on to a part of him somehow.
“Ugh!” I mutter a curse into the pillow. We’ve been texting since the day of the party, but we’re both wary, so the conversations haven’t been the same. He only asks about my day and my plans. The flirty Jax I’ve grown used to hasn’t been there lately.
I’d always talk to Lilah about my boy problems, but I can’t this time. She only knows we hooked up once when she was in the hospital and as far as she knows, that was it. I know she won’t judge me if I continued to sleep with Jax, but it would only draw her and Damian into our issues and I don’t want that. She’s had enough of her own troubles to last a lifetime. She’s so happy these days, more than she ever was before. I want her to treasure every second, she deserves the love Damian has given her. I don’t want to do anything to complicate her life, so it’s best I keep this to myself.
Beep. Beep. My intercom rings, announcing a visitor, probably some random person who’s trying to get into the building. It wouldn’t be the first time. I shove a pillow over my head hoping they stop.
Beep. “Go away!” I shout, praying whoever it is hears me, but I’m on the eighth floor, so I’m guessing that’s pretty unlikely.
Beep.“Motherfucker! Fine, fine, I’m coming!” I slip out of bed, the damn pajama shorts riding up my ass like an annoying intruder.
Reaching the intercom, I press the talk button. “Who the hell is this? It’s seven in the damn morning.” Have you guessed that I’m not much of a morning person?
“Now, is that any way to greet a friend?”Speaking of annoying intruders…
“Come on, open up, babe. I have presents and I think you’ll like them.” Jax’s voice carries the playful tone that I’ve missed so much. I hope this means we’re back to how it used to be when we’d text all the time.
I try to wipe the sleep away from my eyes and press the button, letting him up. A few minutes later, he’s at my door, tapping lightly against it.
I look through the peephole and am greeted with the sight of a perfectly put together Jax holding a white shopping bag. No one should look that good this early. My insides twist from the nerves building up inside me.
I finger the rat’s nest on top of my head in hopes of making it less unattractive, but it can’t be helped. Maybe if he takes a good look at my scary morning appearance, he’ll disappear for good. Dilemma averted. But at the thought of that, my chest tightens.
Crap, my teeth!Running over to the bathroom, I use some mouthwash and run back out. I take a few calming breaths to quiet my unsteady pulse, and then unlock the door.
Holy hell, why is he so hot?I swallow, clearing my throat. “What are you doing here?” He stands like an impeccable sculpture, his hair combed back, a full beaming smile, and a gray suit with a blue tie that somehow manages to make his eyes appear brighter, like the sky after a summer storm. His chest looks massive underneath the jacket and I internally salivate. I’m pathetic. I’m not above recognizing my shortcomings.
“Well hello there, beautiful.” He grazes me up and down with his intense traveling gaze, leaving a shiver tracing down my skin. My belly rolls in deep waves and every inch of my body begs for his touch.
He rakes his fingers through his hair, messing it a bit, yet managing to look even more delicious. “If I knew you were this barely dressed in the mornings, I would’ve come by a long time ago,” he tosses out ever so calmly while I melt where I stand.
I roll my eyes dramatically, all the while loving that we’re back to the flirty chatter again. “Why are you here, Jax?” I sass out, placing a hand on my hip.
“Oh, are we back to pretending you hate me?” He inches closer, our bodies almost touching, while I muster the ability to breathe. “We’re not with our friends right now,” he places a thumb under my chin raising my eyes to his, “so we can skip this part.” His breath fans across my lips before he drops his hand and pushes past me, walking into my apartment as though he didn’t just unravel my heart.
