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It seemed like every second of every day, he was fighting just to remain upright. It had been two years, but Kelli knew Padraig’s heart ached for Mia just as much now as it had the day she’d died.
“I think you should wait to tell him,” Colm said at last.
“How long?”
He shrugged. “At least through the holidays. And maybe even longer. Maybe never. I think what we have to decide is what purpose would telling him serve.”
Kelli liked the way Colm said “we.” It helped that she wasn’t alone in this. “No purpose. It would hurt him.”
Colm nodded. “Yeah, but…well…would it hurt you not to tell him?”
Kelli wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Did she admit to Colm how much that night in Padraig’s arms had affected her, made her long for things she thought she’d managed to convince herself she didn’t need?
“That night…it was…he was… I’ve never experienced anything like that. It was incredible.” She lifted her shoulder casually as if that would downplay her confession. It didn’t.
Colm reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Are you sure you haven’t given up on the possibility of finding love?”
“I haven’t. I told you—wanting a baby and finding love don’t have to go hand in hand. Besides, if I’ve learned anything from Halloween, it’s that I’m an even bigger dumpster fire than I thought.”
Colm smirked. “I could have told you that.” She narrowed her eyes, but before she could call him to task, he sobered up and said, “I’m sorry, Kell.”
Kelli swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. Then she fought to force a smile. “It’s okay. He’s my best friend, and I can’t…I won’t do anything to jeopardize that. I can take this secret to the grave.”
“Can you?”
She nodded. She could. She really could. “Ignorance is bliss.”
She wasn’t sure where those words came from, but the tone definitely didn’t match the phrase. Because she wasn’t sure whose ignorance she was referring to.
Hers or Padraig’s.
Wasn’t it better that Padraig not know he’d betrayed Mia’s memory? Because that was how he would view what they’d done.
And wasn’t it now worse for her because she’d had a glimpse of something she feared she would never have, never feel, again? What would she give to have that ignorance back again?
“Yeah. It is.” The way Colm looked at her, the tone of his voice drove home the feeling she’d had last week. That she and Colm had more in common than they’d realized.
“So…Brooke,” she prompted, realizing she’d brushed him off at the bar, making jokes, while he’d tried to help her.
A sadness she’d rarely seen crept into his eyes. “I felt something that night, Kell. Something I…really haven’t felt before. I actually thought she might be the one.”
“Wow,” she said, fighting to lighten the heaviness surrounding them. “That girl must have a magic va-jay-jay if she’s got you thinking commitment. You realize you’re still six years away from the ‘not marrying before forty’ deadline.”
She expected him to laugh, but instead, he just agreed. “I know. It knocked me on my ass because there was a connection there. And I liked it. I really fucking liked it.”
Kelli nodded because she got it. She glanced at Padraig once more, still struggling to assimilate her best friend with the lover who’d rocked her world. “You liked it so much it actually had you thinking marriage?”
Colm blew out a long breath. “I don’t know. That night felt different from everything that had come before with her. I really wanted to see her again, talk to her, try to figure out if what happened between us… God. She’s like two different women. Outside the bedroom, she talks a lot…about nothing. But when we were in bed together, it felt like she was made for me. I’m having a hard time making the pieces fit.”
Jesus. Kelli wasn’t sure how to reply to that—because she’d had the same problem this week. Exactly the same problem.
“Not that it matters now. She’s completely stonewalling me. So…”
“So, what’s the answer here?” she asked.
“Karaoke,” Colm said.
She frowned. “I’ve spent way too many years surrounded by the Collins family because I sadly understand that response.”
