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Feeling guilty, he took a deep breath and tried again. “You know, there are a ton of kids in the foster care system who are looking for good homes. You could talk to Aunt Lauren about it.”
His aunt Lauren, Uncle Sean and Uncle Chad had taken in a few foster kids over the years, including Gavin, who was now sharing this apartment with him, sleeping down the hall.
“I’ve considered that. And maybe that’s something I’ll do as well, but…I want the experience, want to be pregnant, to feel a life growing inside me. I can’t imagine anything more…amazing.”
Colm nodded. “Yeah. I want to be a dad too. Someday. In the far, far future.”
Kelli grimaced. “Still hanging on to your vow of not settling down until your forties?”
“Still a lot of women who haven’t gotten to enjoy an evening in my bed. Hate to take myself off the market too soon.”
“On behalf of my gender, let me just reassure you…none of us would lose any sleep at night over that sale ending. And let’s face it, you have the luxury of waiting as long as you want. You can make babies at any age.”
Colm considered her point of view, her concerns. “I understand why you’re telling me and not Paddy, Kell. You and I have lived parallel lives when it comes to our dating histories. Neither one of us has ever been particularly lucky at love. Everyone in my family gets the fairy tale ending, while you and I stand on the sidelines and watch.”
“Paddy didn’t exactly get the fairy tale ending.”
“No. I guess he didn’t.”
“And you’re right. I love your family, Colm, but damn if they don’t make things tough on us mere mortals. I’ve spent too many years around people who’ve found the most amazing, beautiful true loves, while I seem to be a magnet for losers.”
He could completely relate to that. “Which makes it harder when you’re still alone night after night.”
She studied his face. “You do get it.”
He nodded slowly. “I get it.” Painfully so, though he didn’t add that part.
“That’s why I’m done, Colm. I’m taking my hat out of the ring. Giving up on the dating scene.”
“I don’t understand how taking yourself out of the dating scene will solve the ticking clock issue,” he said, struggling to connect the dots. “Those two things don’t go together.”
“I don’t need a boyfriend or a husband to have a baby.”
Colm frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I’m going to have a baby. On my own.”
Colm gave her a crooked grin. “Hate to break it to you, but I’m fairly certain no human is capable of parthenogenesis. There’s this little thing called the sperm.”
Kelli smacked his arm. “I know that, asshole. But there’s also this little thing called a sperm donor.”
Jesus. Kelli was batting a thousand on the shocks tonight. “You’d seriously go that route?”
She sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah. I would. I’ve been thinking about it a lot this past year. Like a lot. I want to have a baby, Colm.”
“So what are we talking here? Turkey baster or something?”
She laughed. “Crude. But yeah, something like that. This isn’t some spur-of-the-moment decision. I’ve considered everything. Budgeting, childcare, my living situation. I have a plan for all of it. I know I can do this.”
“Yeah, but a sperm donor? You can’t get pregnant like that. I mean, what are you talking about? Going to a sperm bank and picking out some swimmers based on…Jesus. Based on what?” Colm wasn’t sure why her plan bothered him so much. It was none of his business, and it wasn’t like he didn’t believe Kelli would be a great mother, single or not. She’d be fantastic at it.
Sometimes he wondered if her still-single status had something to do with the fact she was an extremely strong, independent, speak-her-mind woman. Colm figured there were probably a lot of guys who would be intimidated by that.
He didn’t fall into that category, but that was because he’d grown up surrounded by women just like her, and there was no way his mother, aunts, and female cousins wouldn’t have kicked his ass from here to Iceland if he’d revealed any caveman-like attitudes.
“A sperm bank is an option, but I don’t really want to go that route. Ideally, I’d like to at least know the guy. I mean, you know my girlfriends, Lydia and Kristen—”
“The lipstick lesbians?”
