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“By telling her?” Kai asks. “Sometimes we think actions are enough, and I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes you just need to say stuff plainly. Maybe you two are speaking two totally different languages right now.”
Ash and Buckee nod in agreement.
“Talk to her. Make sure she knows how you feel about her while you still have the chance. Have you told her how much she means to you? That you’ve been in love with her since you first saw her?”
It didn’t occur to me before now that my love language was more action based. I squeeze my eyes shut and run a hand through my hair. I’d taken her in the field, and I didn’t even tell her that I loved her. I thought about it the entire time, with pump and every orgasm but I hadn’t vocalized it.
Before we got intimate I’d held off because I didn’t want to scare her off. But once I got her in my arms, and she cradled me between her legs, why hadn’t I?
I’m a fucking idiot.
Sinking on the sofa, I shake my head.“Ah, no. I didn’t want to scare her off by coming on too strong.”
“It kinda looks like she’s already scared,” Kai says. “And the relationship is pretty new, marriage or not. If you don’t tell her everything, I think you’ll lose her anyway.”
Buckee rolls closer to where I’m sitting on the couch, “He’s right, son. I once let the perfect girl slip through my fingertips because I was too afraid to let her see how much I felt for her. At the time, I didn’t know that though. I swore I was just too busy with the rodeo.”
My gaze flickers to the TV screen where the actress spots a rogue bull. As the camera zooms in to capture her blood curdling scream, my stomach drops.
The actress looks like Connie, because it is Connie, four decades younger.
I look at Buckee who’s smiling at me sadly, an unspoken message floating between us.
“Us Forester men feel things so deeply that we fall in love quickly. But keeping that love? Well that’s another story entirely.”
“Just talk to her,” Ash encourages before pointing to the manilla envelope in my lap. “Don’t let that huge plot of land go to waste on just you alone.”
***
Zoe
I can barely breathe as Cole and I drive in silence towards the cabin.
On the dashboard between us, the manilla envelope sits like a declaration. One that lets me know our time is up. Somehow, I thought Buckee would wait at least a year to make sure our marriage was legitimate before handing Cole his inheritance. Now that he has, I can’t avoid the writing on the wall anymore.
CPS gave me the all clear with Zander.
Cole’s got his plot of land.
Panic starts to rise within me when I think about Zander and I’s living arrangement.
I don’t start back at the diner until next week and I won’t get my first check until a week later.
I know Cole said we’d always remain friends but even staying with a friend past two weeks is outstaying your welcome.
The concert isn’t until next month. I’d hope to make a decent amount after repaying everyone for their help. That would probably be enough for first last and security but I couldn’t expect Cole to host Zander and I for that long. That aside, now that he had his land deed, would Cole even be willing to keep up our sham to his family for a little while longer?
Shame blooms in my chest as I think it.
Using Cole is one thing. He used me too and that was mutual. But using his family who’s been nothing but kind to me? No. I can’t, not even if it means never seeing the Tynam Twins in person.
Forget about the concert and the menu, and all hopes of branching out on my own.
I’ll beg Connie to let me come to work tomorrow. Then I’ll start searching Moonshine Creek’s local pages for apartments. If I work doubles all week, maybe I can scrounge up enough for a tiny efficiency. One that you pay weekly instead of monthly.
Zander will have to share a bed with me again, but the most important thing is that we’re together.
Zander. What the hell was I going to tell Zander? I know this moment is inevitable, but I hadn’t seen it coming so soon. Maybe it’s for the best. Zander has only been a Forester for a short while. He’ll cry, but he’ll heal a lot faster than a year from now, right?
