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Her smile is sad as she says, “But he isn’t a Forester, and he won’t ever be. Not for real.”
The word ever stabs at my heart. Can’t she envision it as easily as I can? What will it take to convince her that we can be a family for real?
“What if he gets too attached to your family? How can I explain that he isn’t going to see them again?”
“Things aren’t that cut and dry between us, are they?” I ask. “I mean, if the time comes for us to split,” I pause, hating even to say the words, “We’ll still be friends, won’t we? We don’t have to be in a fake relationship for me to maintain my friendship with Zander and you, do we?”
She softens. “You’re right. I just meant Zander can’t expect the same kind of treatment once this ends. I just want to keep him at arm's length to soften the blow. You know? Maybe I should keep Zander scarce after the initial visit. We can go again as a couple while he’s at school to make our relationship look real.”
I know she’s just trying to protect him, but I don’t want to keep Zander at bay. I want him fully involved. I want him to have cousins and romp around the ranch just like I did as a kid. But it isn’t about me. Hopefully, I’ll have plenty of time to convince her that this is already real to me.
“Speaking of making it look real,” I say, deciding to drop the conversation about Zander for now. “What’s okay and what’s not? Physically, I mean?”
Another blush darkens her cheeks as her lips part. “What do you mean?”
“Every couple’s different, but my family’s pretty affectionate.” I slide my fingers from her wrist to her hand and lace our fingers together. “Is hand-holding okay?”
She nods, her eyes trailing up my arm like she’s following my tattoos all the way to my throat, where they stop. I swallow, and she watches my throat bob as I pull her closer until she’s standing right between my legs. With a tug, she drops onto my lap.
“What about if I pull you onto my lap? Is that okay?”
It’s her turn to swallow. She nods again, and I wrap her hands around my neck. We’re so close now, and I can feel her quick breaths and the softness of her breasts as I trail a hand up her neck and into her curls.
“And what if I kissed you?” I rasp before grazing my lips against her cheek. “Is a cheek kiss okay?”
She lets out a breath and nods again as if not trusting herself to speak.
“What about,” I ask between kisses along her jaw. “If I kissed your lips?”
She’s so damn tense in my arms. Am I making her uncomfortable in a good or bad way? Is it displeasure or anticipation? I don’t want to push her too hard, but at the same time, I want nothing more than to plow into her full force. My cock jumps at the thought, and I have no idea if she can feel it pressed between my abs and her thigh.
I don’t care either. I can’t hide my need anymore. Not when she’s right in my arms, her comforting weight pressed against me.
She isn’t pulling away either. She’s tracing my lips with her eyes, now a darker green shade, shining at me like emeralds.
Last night, she did ask me to help her out of that dress... maybe I’d mistaken her reaction because I swear I see the same amount of desire that’s running through my veins reflected in her emerald eyes.
“I...” she trails as the tip of my tongue darts to graze the edge of her bottom lip.
“Is breakfast ready?”
Zoe damn near touches the ceiling with how high she jumps up from my lap.
We both turn to see a sleepy Zander rubbing his eyes. Zoe lets out a breath of relief, and I know it’s because he isn’t wearing his glasses. Zander told me that anything more than two feet in front of him is blurry.
“I just finished it,” Zoe says, still breathless as she darts to the coffee table where Zander left his glasses last night. “Go wash your hands at the sink. Then we’ll eat.”
“Morning, Cole,” Zander says with a smile as he trots past me to the step ladder in front of the sink.
Despite Zoe clearly not wanting Zander to see us be affectionate, she can’t take her eyes off me.
Not when she offers to refill my coffee mug, exposing a slip of her nipple as she bends forward.
Nor when her thighs double in size when she sits and brushes against mine beneath the table.
Nor when she adjusts that little strap that constantly falls down her shoulder... and suddenly I realize just how badly I’ve been misreading her. Just how badly I fucked up last night. God, I hope I get another chance to show her how much I want her.
