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“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
It didn’t take long for me to strip and join her. I never tired of her body. It was as if every time we came together, I discovered something new. To touch a new spot and see how she would react turned me on so much.
As we lay side by side afterward, I would take Dorothy’s advice and hope it didn’t come back and kick me in the guts.
“I know we said this would just be ‘friends with benefits,’ and I don’t know where this will end. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, I care for you, Autumn. I intend on being exclusive to you while you are here.” It was all I could offer her for now.
Autumn went quiet.
Shit, I had said too much too soon. I should learn to keep my big mouth shut.
“I feel something, too, and I really appreciate you wanting to be only with me. I don’t like to share, especially after my ex. I’m not looking for anyone else either at the moment. It’s hard for me to say more right now, Ryan. Scars run deep.”
“Take as long as you want. If you keep waiting naked in bed for me, I’m not going to rush you. I have no intention of going anywhere.”
SEVENTEEN
Autumn
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. Okay, it was not a declaration of love from Ryan last night, but it was a step in the right direction. Somewhere along the line, I would say the L-word. Dear God, it had been years. Okay, I would ignore the niggling doubt that he would not say it back.
Ryan had stayed overnight but had gone off to work early this morning. Grant’s conference was finished, and they were driving up from Sydney. I had a fold-out bed for Hudson in the spare bedroom as they were staying a couple of days before they headed back to the States. I was not due to work until after they left, so I could show them the sights.
It was late morning when they turned up, and Hudson could not believe it when he saw the parrots in the trees and then heard a kookaburra laughing. His eyes were wide with excitement. “Where’s Bluey?” he asked.
“You’ll see him later. Ryan is at work, and Bluey goes with him on the back of the pickup.”
We had a quiet lunch in the backyard gazing out at the paddocks as we chatted. Then I was going to take them to the Scenic Skyway cableway and Vertical Railway. As I cleaned up, Grant came over and touched my arm while Charlotte got Hudson ready. From the serious look on his face, he had something to tell me. I hoped it wasn’t going to be about Ryan and warning me to hold back. He was always protective, but I needed his support this time. If he said not to let my heart go, then I would listen. I would cry but I would listen.
“I need to tell you something. I wasn’t going to mention it because I didn’t think it would matter, but Charlotte told me I had to.” He was looking at the ground.
“You’re beating around the bush, Grant. You’re getting me worried. What is it?”
“Jonathan was at the conference. I swear I didn’t know he was coming.”
Even after all this time, it was like a kick in the guts to realize he was near. I had liked the thought he was on the other side of the world. I wasn’t interested in him and had not been for a long time, but my stomach still did a flip at his name. That had been the problem with our relationship. I had been needed when everything was about him, but when it had been about me, he had not been there. The world had to revolve around Jonathan, and I didn’t want to be in that circle anymore.
“Well, he’s allowed to go to conferences. It is inevitable our paths will cross. Now, let’s head off.” Damn him. I had to let that part of my life go and leave it in the past.
It was a short drive to the cableway. It went out across a gorge, and I had done it before with Ryan. I hung onto the pole in the middle and let the others stay around the windows so they could view the beautiful Blue Mountain scenery. The drop was too much, and I didn’t need to punish myself by seeing it again.
Afterward, we got on the Vertical Railway. Being on the ground should have made things less scary, but it didn’t. I felt as if I was falling forward as the train made its way down the mountain, and I stared out with the others at the vista before us.
When we got back to the top, we went for coffee and cake.
“Tonight, we’re going to have a barbecue, and then tomorrow I’ll take you to the Jenolan Caves I visited with Ryan. They’re incredible.”
Back at the cottage, I prepared some salads and opened a bottle of wine while we waited for Ryan to turn up. My heart skipped a beat when his pickup arrived.
Grant came over. “You know you’re a bit of a schoolgirl around him? It’s good to see someone bring you alive again.”
“Thanks. I never thought Australia would bring someone like Ryan into my life. There are no guarantees though.”
“There never are guarantees, but sometimes you have to take that leap of faith. Look what it did for me.”
There was barking as Ryan arrived with Bluey. Hudson was so excited to see the dog, and the two of them went into the back garden to throw a ball. Ryan came over, kissed the top of my head, and put a pack of beer down.
“Let’s have a beer and get this barbecue going,” he said.
