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Ryan smiled and glanced across at me.
“Penny for your thoughts. You look a bit worried. Not taking back the offer you made last night, are you?”
“No. I was just wondering where we go from here. Do I call you when I’m randy or shall we set up certain days of the week you can come around?”
“Whoa. You really are looking at this as me servicing you, aren’t you?” He laughed.
“I’m sorry. I’ve never done this kind of thing before. I’m not sure of the etiquette.” I was doing this all wrong.
“I don’t think there is any. I can assure you of one thing for sure. I’ll always be randy where you are concerned. Look, you can let me know when you want me to come around by putting a shell from the collection on your front porch in my letterbox.”
“I think it should be reciprocal, and you should put a pebble from your front path in mine. Of course, we could just text.” I laughed. “That said, the secret messages in the letterbox are charming.”
“You know Dorothy will be watching and work us out. I swear, the birds in the garden talk to her about everyone’s goings-on. She’s like Doctor Doolittle.” Ryan pulled up outside the cottages, and sure enough, Dorothy was out front and waved. I could not keep the grin off my face.
“Well, I was thinking I might have a bath to ease my aches and pains,” I said as I stretched.
“Can I join you?” Ryan said. “I mean, I was hoping that was what you were going to say next. I can give a good massage and help you relax after sleeping on the hard ground. It’s all for medicinal purposes.”
“Yeah, right. Look, to be honest, I’d like that. Give me twenty minutes and come over. I’ll leave the back door open. That way Dorothy won’t see you.”
The big smile on his face made me excited about what was to come.
* * *
I ran the bath and filled it with bubbles. The aroma of mangoes filled the room. Now the moment had arrived, I was nervous about him seeing me nude again. Yes, I had fallen in the bath, and he had helped me out, but this was different. At least the bubbles would hide my foot or lack thereof. In this setting, I could feel normal and sexy and complete for a while.
I left the latch off the door and hoped no one else decided to come into the house. Knowing my luck, Dorothy would want a cup of sugar.
I could not believe I was going to do this. This being, have casual sex with someone. Okay, breathe, people do this all the time. In the past, I had always thought about finding “the one”. Well, that hadn’t worked out too well. Jonathan had been my one, and everyone else’s one too. I still wondered why he had ever asked me to marry him.
I had come to the conclusion there was no such thing as love. It was just chemical reactions in the body to certain stimuli. Sexual attraction and lust were things that could be tested, but the mythical thing called love—how could you prove it existed? I had done my own experiments and they had all failed.
The trouble was, I had seen the way Grant gazed at Charlotte when we were in London, and it made me accept love was real. He had been the world’s most cynical doctor and friend. I had watched as a succession of females had visited his bedroom when we had shared an apartment. He got his rocks off, but in the morning when they left, he still looked empty. He had filled it with work. Grant was alive for the first time in his life with Charlotte. I loved her just for that alone. The fact she was a gorgeous person just added to my adoration.
Love was just for other people—not me. Ryan was an amazing kisser and if he was as good at everything else, I would have a fabulous time with him. No love was required. Just lots of fun that brought a smile to my face. I deserved it.
I had messed up at love when my body had been normal, and now, I couldn’t see a future with someone. I was a doctor and could lecture my patients on the fact that what was on the outside was not important. That who you were as a person was the main thing. I just got a pain in my chest when I thought of my missing foot. Even with my body hidden under the bubbles, my disability would still be there in the room. I needed a chair beside the bath and my prosthesis on the floor.
Stuff it. If he couldn’t cope then he could get lost. No matter how sexy he was.
I laid back and hoped Ryan would not kick my prosthesis across the room like last time. He was such a big klutz. I remembered him drunk and giggling. He was so adorable as well. I could not see how this was going to end well. For now, I would settle in the bubbles and wait. The water was hot, and I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard the back door close. My heart thumped in my chest at the thought of this sexy man getting naked with me and making me scream with pleasure. I was certainly up for that.
He knocked on the door. That was quaint. I could tell him to go away. I wouldn’t. I wanted him in a way I had not wanted a man for a long time.
“Come on in. The water’s fine,” I called out and was amazed at my own ability to sound calm. I had a feeling keeping the tone light was the only way I could go through with it.
Then he was there—tall, handsome, and eager, I hoped.
He stood next to the bath and stared at me in the bath from head to toe as if he was trying to use X-ray vision to see what lay beneath the suds. I bit my lower lip. The look of lust in his eyes made me decidedly hot between the legs and it had nothing to do with the water temperature.
“I promise you’re not going to regret this. You’ll never want to bathe on your own again,” Ryan said.
That sounded wonderful just to be wanted.
He bent down, took off his boots, and pulled his T-shirt over his head. I had seen the bottom half of his chest when I examined him, but now, his muscles were displayed in all their glory. No wonder he had picked me up out of the bath so easily. Ryan’s arms were huge from working the wood. His chest was powerful with a fine smattering of hair that led in a trail to the waistband of his jeans.
I bit my bottom lip as I stared at the bulge in his jeans. The poor guy would be cutting his circulation off soon if he didn’t get undressed. I would not be a good practitioner if I did not relieve his stress. That was what I was telling myself.
