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“Finn. Stop. I would go if I were worried about it. Being tired does not mean that I have cancer.” Her gaze hardened like I’d just completely offended her. “Now, get in the truck so we can go buy lots of presents and go to Reynolds’ for some good food.”
I nodded slowly before closing the door and hurrying around to start the truck and crank up the heat.
“So, tell me about your day,” I said, keeping my tone light as I waited for her to tell me about Carl.
“Well, your sister and Maddox came by early this morning, and we went over some design ideas for the casita.”
And you asked if you could rent their home.
“Yes. What else did you talk about?” Reese and I had never had secrets. But now that we were sleeping together, she was suddenly tight-lipped with me? That didn’t sit fucking well with me.
“I drew up some sketches, and they loved them. We looked at some different finishes, and—”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You asked to rent their house. Why are you leaving that out?” I said, not hiding my irritation as I found a parking spot on Cottonwood Cove Drive downtown.
She chuckled. “Ah, I figured Georgie might mention it. I was going to tell you. I just thought I’d wait until we have our little talk.”
“The day before I leave? Isn’t that what you requested? We wait until the last fucking minute to talk about it? But meanwhile, you go and rent another home? What’s your deal, Miney?”
Her jaw fell open as she searched my gaze. She unbuckled her seat belt and slid across the seat before climbing onto my lap. She placed a mitten-covered hand on each of my cheeks.
“I need to have a plan, Chewy. You’re leaving, and once you finish shooting the movie, you’ll be shootingBig Sky Ranch. You’re going to be gone for a few months, so I can’t just be living in your house.”
“Why the fuck not?” I asked.
“For a lot of reasons.”
“Name one.”
“We don’t know what this is, what’s happening between us. I’m an adult, and I need to have a home of my own. I can’t be sitting around, waiting to see what happens. I’m not going to do that to you, Finn. You’re my best friend. My favorite person. I love you so much, and I don’t want you worrying about me. If you—” She looked away, glancing out the window as a tear ran down her cheek.
“If I, what?”
“You’re leaving, Chewy. You’re going to have women chasing after you. You’re a freaking movie star now. You did me a favor. But we both know this isn’t going to last forever. This isn’t what you want.” Now the tears were streaming down her cheeks.
I guess we were doing this now.
I used my thumbs to clear away the liquid. “How do you know what I want?”
“Because I know you better than anyone. And I don’t think we want the same things.” Her voice broke, and I swear a piece of my heart cracked at the pain that I heard. “I want you to want the same things I want. God, I want that so bad. But I won’t ever ask you to be someone you’re not. And I can’t stand the thought of you not being happy. Or you being far away and feeling guilty because you want someone else, and you don’t know how to tell me. We can’t let that happen to us.”
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, stunned by how much she’d been holding in. Hell, I had been holding back, too.
“Miney,” I whispered before she pulled back to look at me.
“I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional.”
“Stop. I’m unsure where we stand, too. I don’t know where you are with Carl. I mean, I’m not the one who has someone waiting for this to fail so they can swoop in.”
Her pretty green eyes searched mine like she was stunned by my words. “You’ve got lots of people waiting to swoop in, Chewy. The whole world wants a piece of you. Your life is just getting started. And mine… mine is here.”
“Mine has always revolved around you. I just didn’t know what it meant back then. And now I know this for certain,” I said, as my thumb stroked her bottom lip. “I don’t want anyone else. When I’m away from you, I miss you like crazy.”
“I don’t think that’s enough.” She shrugged. “It’ll fade.”
“This isn’t a fucking fling. I’ve loved you my entire life, Reese Murphy. That will never fade.”
She pushed forward again, hugging me tight. “Let’s just enjoy this time together, okay? And then we’ll see what happens. You don’t need to make me any promises. But just know that I’m going to be fine. I’m going to move into my own place when you leave. And we’ll just take things one day at a time.”
