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“Good,” I said, my voice just above a whisper as I tried to pull myself together.
“Get one thing straight before I worship every inch of your sweet body.” He stroked the strand of hair that had broken free from one of the buns sitting on top of my head. “This is hot, no doubt about it. But seeing you when you come home from a hard day of work, doing what you love, building your business, all tired and exhausted… It’s just as fucking sexy to me. Seeing you in your cowboy boots and a pair of worn denim after you take Millie for a long ride—so fucking sexy. There isn’t a version of you that I don’t want. I can’t get enough of any one of them.”
I sucked in a breath because he was saying all the right things. No man had ever made me feel so wanted. But I didn’t know what it meant.
I knew that I didn’t want to be with the man I’d been hell-bent on marrying.
I didn’t want anyone other than Finn.
“I can’t get enough of you either,” I said. “So, we like having sex with each other. Although, I haven’t had any competition because you’ve been sort of forced to be here with me.”
I wasn’t planning on having a serious conversation right now. My romantic relationship with Finn was kind of like this costume. It was fun and sexy, but it was temporary.
Thinking any differently about it would only hurt us both.
His brows cinched together as his gaze searched mine. “No one has forced me to do anything. I’m the one who forced you to put things on hold with Carl. No one is here against their will, Miney. At least I’m not.”
Tell him that you don’t want Carl anymore.
Just say the words.
“I-I—” I looked away. I couldn’t handle the way those gray eyes were boring into me. Looking deep into my soul like they always did. But telling Finn the truth would make him feel obligated to me. I couldn’t stand the idea of him feeling forced to be with me once this was all over. “I think we should just focus on tonight.”
He nodded, looking like he was about to say something, but he stopped himself. “How about this… We don’t add any pressure to this already-odd situation. We have a few more weeks together, and if at the end of that, you want to go back to your dickhead ex when I leave town for work and fall back into my old routine—well, then that’s okay. But if we decide we aren’t ready to call this off, that’s okay, too. We’re always going to be fine, Reese.”
Was he trying to prepare me for the end?
I tugged his head down so his lips were hovering just above mine. “Too much talking. I don’t want to talk anymore. I just want you to kiss me. Can you do that?”
“Hell, yes. It’s my favorite thing to do these days.”
And just like that, all my worries melted away as his lush lips crashed into mine.
It might not be forever, but right now, it was enough.
* * *
Finn and I had taken the horses out for a ride before I left for work, and he had his Zoom call with the director and producer of his upcoming movie. Finn’s career had already skyrocketed, but now he was going to move from the small screen to the big screen.
That meant more travel, more opportunity, and more fans.
This moment in time that we were sharing was coming to an end, and we both knew it.
We raced back toward the barn, my hair whipping around me as my braid had come undone after we’d left the beach and hurried home. It was cold, as Christmas was just a few days away.
My time with Finn felt like a ticking time bomb getting ready to detonate and blow up my world.
One I’d grown so comfortable in.
Too comfortable.
We’d made a deal not to discuss the future until after the holidays.
My guess was that it would make it easier for him to call this done, right before he left for Tokyo. Why discuss that now? It would make things awkward.
We’d still be in one another’s lives. We always would. He was my best friend.
But things would go back to how they used to be, and I couldn’t stand the thought of him telling me about other women now.
