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“Of course, there are no hard feelings. They’ve always loved you. You know that.” His gaze locked with mine, and I saw the sadness there.
“Are they close with Christy Rae—” I said, but he cut me off.
“Let’s just call her Christy. The three names are exhausting.” He chuckled. “And I know it’s her own fault, as she’s always insisted everyone call her that. But I can’t hear it one more time.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. This was the Carl that I’d missed. He could be really funny when he wanted to be.
“I get it. So, are they close with her?”
“Not the way that they were with you, if that’s what you’re asking.” He let out a long breath. “What I have with her isn’t like what you and I shared. I miss you. I’m not going to lie. We have a history, Reese. This isn’t easy on me either. But maybe this is good for us. Maybe you were right about going to London. I shouldn’t have tried to hold you back. I own that. I wasn’t looking at things from your side. I was wrong. But maybe me dating Christy and you dating Finn is something we both needed. We’ve always only been with one another, aside from a few short breaks over the years.”
I nodded, and a lump formed in my throat. “Are you happy, Carl?”
“As happy as I can be when I’m not with the person I always thought I’d be with. But that doesn’t mean that this is forever for either of us. But I’m different with her, you know?” he said, and his voice cracked.
“Different how?”
He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re experiencing it, too. We’ve technically been broken up for a year, and I don’t know what you did when you were in London by yourself.”
“I didn’t do anything because I didn’t stop loving you, Carl. I just wanted to take a professional opportunity that had come my way. I wanted something for me to feel good about. I still wanted us to be together. But I’m guessing you’ve done plenty since I’ve been gone.” I braced myself for what he was going to tell me.
He refilled my wine glass, and his gaze locked with mine. “You and I were so young when we first met, Reese. I was your first…everything, and I think I just didn’t ever want to do anything to scare you off. Or hell, maybe I was the scared one. But my relationship with Christy is different than ours was,” he said, clearing his throat before letting out a long breath. “There’s more passion, physically, I guess. I don’t hold back with her because she’s more experienced than you were. But I don’t feel like it’s going to be a long-lasting thing, if I’m being honest, so I don’t think about every little thing when I’m with her. There are no rules. We don’t have the same emotional connection. Maybe this is what you and I needed. To experience something different.”
Oh my God.
Did he really just admit that he has good sex with his new girlfriend while our sex life was vanilla at best?
A dull ache settled in my chest.
“Wow. I did not see tonight going like this,” I said, reaching for my glass and taking a long sip, downing most of the liquid in one gulp.
“Come on, Reese. You can’t tell me you don’t agree.”
“Oh, I agree, Carl. But I was the one that always wanted to try things, and you were the one who kept throwing your medical background in my face when it came to our sex life.” I crossed my hands over my chest and leaned back in my chair.
“I just always looked at you as the woman I was going to marry. The future mother of my children. I didn’t want to tarnish that,” he said, his gaze searching mine.
“You didn’t want to tarnish our future with orgasms?” I hissed.
His eyes widened. “I’m guessing your relationship with Finn is also different. I’m assuming you’re sleeping with him?”
This was the moment of truth.
Come clean or keep the lie going.
But after hearing what he’d just shared, I wasn’t going to admit that I hadn’t had sex in over a year. Hadn’t had sex with anyone but him. That I’d waited for him while he was out having fabulous sex with Christy Rae Lovell.
If we were going to end up together, it wouldn’t be me begging him to come back. He would need to do the begging. He’s the one who ended things. He’s the one having all the good sex with someone else.
“Of course I am. He’s my boyfriend, after all. And obviously, he’s very experienced, so…” I chuckled as I reached for the bottle and filled my glass with what little was left in the bottle.
I was well on my way to drunk town, and I was going to let him know all the ways that Finn Reynolds was rocking my world.
He nodded. “I figured you were. I can’t lie, Reese. The thought of another man touching you makes me sick.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual. You jumped first, though, Carl. You can’t expect me to sit around and wait forever. And Finn and I—” I paused and looked toward the kitchen for dramatic effect. “We’re explosive together. I guess we’re both exploring new things, huh?”
His tongue swiped out to wet his lips, and I smiled because I knew the jealousy was eating him up.
