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I pulled my hands away to swipe at my face, and I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to come here and tell me this. I’m sorry that I’m falling apart in front of you. This is just all wrong for so many reasons.”
“Don’t be silly. I would do anything for you.” He held his hands up and sniffed. “In a friendship type of way. I get it. Your heart belongs to him now. Hell, it probably always did. I just forced the situation by ending things with you. I guess it gave you the time to actually explore those feelings.”
“I guess so.” I nodded, reaching for the napkin and dabbing at my eyes.
“Well, I mean, at least we know you’re not sick. You just have a baby in your belly, which is why you’re so tired. You’ve always wanted to be a mom. And it sounds like you want to be with Finn, so maybe this isn’t so bad.”
“It’s not that it’s bad, Carl. Of course, I want to be a mom, and the idea of having a baby with Finn is amazing—” I looked away because this wasn’t fair to be talking about this with my ex-boyfriend, who was suddenly willing to raise another man’s baby with me after rejecting me for taking the job of my dreams. “It makes me happy to think about, but the timing is tough because we’re still figuring things out, you know?”
“Well, if it helps, I told you that I see the way he looks at you. Hell, I’ve always seen it. I was trying everything I could not to see it, long before you two got together. He’s in love with you, Reesey. I think he always has been.”
I nodded. “I know that he loves me. I don’t doubt that.”
“Then what is it? Just tell him.”
“I don’t want him to be with me for the wrong reasons, Carl. So, I’m asking you as a favor, as a man that I consider my friend after all the years we’ve been together. Please don’t tell anyone. I want Finn to know first, but I’m not ready to tell him. He needs to go on this trip with a clear mind. And we’ll see how he feels once we’ve spent some time apart.”
“Of course. I won’t say a word. And I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you so much,” I said as I pushed to my feet and swiped at my face one last time.
He stood and hugged me. “You’re going to be just fine.”
“I will be. Thank you so much for everything. I’ll see you soon.”
I had to pull myself together before I went home.
I wasn’t ready to tell Finn what was going on.
Because I knew Finn. He’d cancel the trip. He’d worry about me being alone.
I needed to give him this time to make sure that he came back to me because he missed me, not because we were having a child together.
We were having this baby, but I needed to know that he loved me either way.
The way I wanted to be loved.
The way I needed to be loved.
twenty-seven
Finn
I was fucking fuming.I’d left Cage’s house after saying goodbye to everyone, and I drove through downtown and saw Reese’s car parked outside of Cup of Cove. I was going to surprise her and stop in, but the fucking joke was on me.
I’d parked my car and didn’t even make it across the street because there she was, right in front of the window, holding hands and crying with Carl fucking Barley. After everything we’d talked about, this was where she went on my last day home?
I got in my truck and told Siri to call Cage. I could have called Hugh, but I didn’t want someone talking sense into me. I wanted someone that would be pissed off right along with me.
“Miss me already?” he said over Bluetooth.
“Far from it. I saw Reese’s car parked at Cup of Cove and was going to go grab a coffee and surprise her, but she was sitting at a table with Dr. fucking Douche and crying. I can’t fucking believe this, man.”
He was quiet for a moment, which was very out of character.
“Maybe it was closure?”
“They’ve had closure. She’s been with me for months. I don’t know what the fuck to think. I’m leaving. She’s worried about me not being able to handle the distance, and she’s holding hands and crying with that dicksack while I’m still here? What’s she going to do when I’m gone?”
