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Now… well now she didn’t know how to act. How to be. She was a shell of a person, trying to remake herself without knowing how. She’d survived multiple traumas and now she had to navigate a situation entirely beyond her control.
Groping for what to say to him, she finally decided on the truth. “Ayaan mentioned that you bought Guard Dog Securities, and that Jozef now hires your company to handle his security needs. I was… I thought…” It sounded stupid now that she said it out loud.
“You thought I was trying to tie myself to the Koba name through you, uniting mine and Jozef’s business interests. Correct?” His deep voice sounded chiding to her ears.
She nodded and lifted her gaze to meet his. “Why else would you marry me?”
His dark eyes shuttered but she knew him, knew his expressions well enough to read the disappointment. She felt unaccountably ashamed.
“You keep asking me why I’m marrying you, and I keep answering you. Not sure there’s anything left to say.”
She frowned. It wasn’t a denial. “Just because you want me doesn’t exclude other motives.”
He pinned her with a hard stare. “Eight years ago, did you believe I wanted to marry you so I could connect myself to the Koba name?”
“Of course not.”
“What’s changed?”
“A lot has changed,” she argued. “I married someone else and you hate me for it.”
“Hated.”
“What?”
“Past tense.”
So, he didn’t hate her anymore. Yet another revelation to unpack at a later date.
Leeza stood and moved toward the windows, staring out at the river that wound its way through Prague’s downtown core.
“None of this makes sense.”
She felt his body heat caress her back.
“Does it have to?”
She turned to look up at him. She knew he was seeing her at her weakest, but when it came to Havel, she’d never had a poker face. Sometimes he knew her better than she knew herself.
His expression softened and he touched her cheek, his large blunt fingers sliding whisper soft down her skin and sending a ripple down her spine. Her nipples peaked and her breath came out in a short gasp.
“This should be enough of a reason for us to marry. It’s always been there.”
“Sex,” she said flatly, moving away from him and turning her back. “The attraction will die in time.”
“It won’t.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because no matter how often or how hard I tried to rip you from my heart, it never fucking happened.” He gripped her arms and forcibly turned her to face him, standing so close her breasts grazed his chest. “That’s how I know this feeling will never die. Because I can’t kill it, no matter how hard I try.”
His words stabbed at her heart, but she also felt hope. He was right, she’d tried to tear him from her heart too. For a time, she’d thought she succeeded, but now she realized all she’d done was turn off her ability to feel anything for anyone except her son. She’d become a pale, frozen version of herself.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“It’s time to stop saying that. Leave the past in the past. If we’re going to move forward, then we need a clean slate.”
She shook her head. “I wasn’t apologizing for the past.”
