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"Was I avoiding your question? I didn't notice." He pressed a kiss to her hair and then rested his chin on her head.
"Jacob."
"What?"
"Tell me one thing."
"About what?"
If it were any other man, she'd be getting frustrated by his refusal to answer, but Jacob was different. She understood him, which meant, she didn't take offense, and didn't find him frustrating. But she did want to help him. "One beautiful memory from your childhood."
"Beautiful? From my childhood? There aren't any."
Her heart tightened. "There must be something."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he spoke. "I remember one day, one really bad day, I was on my way home. I saw a woman carrying a puppy. It was light brown, floppy ears, black nose. She was whispering to the puppy, and the puppy was wagging his tail, staring up at her. He was so tiny, but the trust on his face was absolute. I knew he believed that woman would keep him safe. It was the first time I understood that some people protected others, instead of hurting them."
Oh, Lordy. That one story spoke volumes about his childhood. It helped explain his need to keep people at a distance, his dislike of most people. It wasn't dislike. It was self-preservation, and she understood that all too well. Phoebe nestled more snugly against him. "I forgot that fact, too," she said. "Until I met you."
His arms tightened around her. "We're a couple of rays of sunshine, aren't we?"
"The sun always shines, even when it's hidden by clouds."
He laughed softly. "You never stop, do you?"
"Stop what?"
"Trying to be positive. See the best in situations. Have hope."
"I do the best I can," she agreed. "Even at the worst of times, if you can find something to be grateful for, it helps. Even a tiny little bit of hope can be enough to get you through the next minute, and the one after that."
"On your worst night, what were you grateful for?" His question wasn't a challenge. It was genuine.
She knew the night immediately. "I was hiding in the bathroom. My ex was kicking the door, trying to break in. I knew if he got in, I was going to die. As I sat there and watched the cracks starting to form in the door, I decided I was lucky that I'd had my mom and stepdad. I was grateful that I'd known kindness in my life. I was grateful that my stepdad had taken care of us. Then I looked up and saw the moon through the window. I decided to be grateful that the moon was beautiful, and I could see it before I died…and then I realized I was looking through a window! It was a tiny window that didn't open, so I threw the toilet lid through the window, squeezed out, and then ran. Met up with Eliana that night and never went back."
"Hell. I'm sorry."
She shrugged. "It is what it is. I just don't want Annie to ever experience anything like that." She paused, suddenly remembering the idea she'd had the night before. "Can I ask you a crazy question?"
"Of course."
"I often worry what will happen to Annie if something happens to me. She needs someone who will protect her and that she'll feel safe with."
Jacob didn't say anything, but his arms tightened slightly.
Phoebe pulled back and sat up, needing to look at Jacob as she spoke. "Eliana makes us all designate a guardian, as you know. I have some woman designated who I don't even know, but she's in Eliana's program."
Jacob's eyes were dark and hooded, riveted on her face. Waiting for her to finish. She had a feeling he knew what she was going to ask.
"The bond between you and Annie is already strong, and she loves Bella and Lucas. Would you be Annie's guardian? No, wait, not guardian. Will you be her dad if something happens to me? Eliana will do all the paperwork to make it legal. I know it's a lot, and hopefully, I'll never need it but—"
"Yes."
Sudden, unexpected tears filled her eyes at his absolute, immediate answer. "Really?"
"Yes," he said again. "Absolutely. I'll sign whatever I need to sign. And I'll update my will to make her my heir, regardless, and to put Bella and Lucas as her guardians if anything happens to me. That way, if you and I are together and a dragon takes us out, she's still covered."
Phoebe stared at him in surprise, stunned by the extent of his response. "You're serious."
