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"Mommy!" Annie beamed at her. "Ready to bake?"
Phoebe didn't have time to bake. She had so much work to do for her business. She'd been planning to spend the day working while Annie had been at school, but it had been one of those mornings, and Annie hadn't been able to cope with school. So, Annie being home, plus a dog maniac, meant Phoebe was once again going to have to stay up all night to work.
Because never, ever would she let her daughter feel or believe that she wasn't the most important thing in Phoebe's life. Annie used to push her boundaries all the time, trying to sabotage the new home she had, but Phoebe had been relentless in her love. Now, Annie was still a handful, but she had internalized that Phoebe wasn't leaving her and never would, no matter what Annie did, and that had started to give Annie room to start to trust and relax.
Still a long way to go, but progress was hope, and that kept her going.
So, baking it was. Phoebe smiled. "Of course, we'll bake. On one condition."
"I know! I'll help clean! Yay!" Annie bounded into the kitchen.
"Annie."
"Mommy." Annie didn't reappear.
Phoebe folded her arms over her chest. "Annie."
Her daughter peered around the doorway from the kitchen, her dark brown skin glistening in the midday light. "Mommy."
"Pillows?"
Annie's gaze shot toward the pile in the living room, then back at Phoebe. "They like being together. It makes them feel safe."
Safe. That word that Annie used a lot, because safe mattered to her. Phoebe didn't want Annie to think about "safe." She wanted Annie to think about being wild and free, about recess and gym class, about learning how to do math. Things kids should think about. "Well, what would make them feel safe enough to all go back to their rooms?"
Annie rubbed her jaw, thinking about it. "Nothing. They need to stay here."
Phoebe eyed the massive pile of pillows. "Forever?"
"Yep."
Phoebe sighed, trying to think. "What if we made sure that each pillow had a best friend? No one ever alone."
Phoebe rubbed her jaw. "Each little pillow needs a big pillow with it."
"Of course. Big pillows take care of the little pillows, but you know what?"
"What?"
"Little pillows are also super tough and they can take care of themselves. They don't need a big pillow. They can do it all alone."
Annie eyed her doubtfully. "Really?"
"Yep." Phoebe went over and picked up a little pillow. She tossed it to her daughter. "Throw it at me."
Annie's face brightened. "Really?"
"Yep." Phoebe braced her hands on her knees, bending low so her face was level with her daughter. "Throw that little pillow right at my face. You'll see how tough it is."
Annie giggled. "Can I come closer?"
"You bet." Lordy, Phoebe hoped this wasn't going be one of those parenting decisions she regretted forever.
Clutching the pillow, Annie inched forward. "Now?"
"Go for it."
"Okay." Annie reached back and hurled the pillow as hard as she could.
