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Jacob moved away from the door and onto the porch, his attention fully outside now, watching Annie. "You can make breakfast," he said to Phoebe. "I've got watch duty."
As Phoebe watched Jacob move off the porch and into the yard, she could see Annie running around with Cupcake, laughing and delighting in the morning. She suddenly felt a huge weight slither off her shoulders, a shadow she hadn't even noticed until it dissolved. Suddenly, she felt overwhelmed. Tears filled her eyes and she sat down on the kitchen floor, hugging her knees.
Ever since Annie had arrived, Phoebe had needed to be one hundred percent "on" at all times, always the only line of defense and stability Annie had. She was a single mom of a traumatized, endangered kid, which meant everything was always on her shoulders.
But suddenly, for the first time in years, she could sit on the floor in the kitchen and let go. She could hear Annie and Jacob shouting outside, laughter in their voices.
Annie was safe and happy, and Phoebe didn't have to be the one to make it happen. Even when Annie was at school, Phoebe was always ready for the call that she needed to pick her daughter up. But right now, in this moment, Jacob was handling it.
She bowed her head, resting her forehead on her knees, letting the tears slide down her cheeks. Tears of relief. Of exhaustion. Of gratitude. Thank you, Jacob, she whispered.
For this moment. This one little moment of not having to be the one holding the entire world together. Of simply sitting on the floor, taking care of no one but herself.
A gift. One she hadn't even realized she needed. She leaned her head back and took a shuddering breath. "God, this feels good," she whispered.
The moment she did, guilt shot through her. Was she a bad mom to cherish a moment to herself? Probably, but she was all Annie had, so she would have to be enough. And was it so wrong to bask in a few minutes of help?
No, she realized. Because Annie needed a bigger world than just her mom. Being outside with different adults was good for her. It would help make her bolder and braver, and that was what Annie wanted for her.
That thought made her smile ironically. Jacob would be laughing at her, because it was exactly what he'd said to her moments ago, that it would be good for Phoebe to be outside with different people.
She supposed he was correct that they needed to meet Lucas and Bella. If he trusted them, she could, too. Theoretically at least, but convincing her brain of that fact might be a little bit more of a challenge.
She grabbed the counter and pulled herself to her feet, peeking out the window. The trio had several tennis balls, and Annie and Jacob were playing catch, while Cupcake raced after every dropped ball. Annie was fully focused on Jacob, laughing with delight at his antics. Her daughter's trust of Jacob was absolute, and it made Phoebe want to cry with joy.
Their joyful bond was real and visceral, and anyone watching would probably assume that Jacob was Annie's dad.
Annie's dad. With a whole family of siblings that Jacob said were as trustworthy as he was.
An idea popped into Phoebe's mind as she watched them play, an idea that was brilliant and ridiculous at the same time. Jacob seemed to feel her attention, and he looked over at her. He pointed to her, and Annie spun around and waved at Phoebe.
Phoebe waved, leaning on the window as Jacob jogged after Annie as she raced across the grass. Never letting her get far. Always watching Annie, but his gaze also continuously scanned their surroundings, always watching and aware of all possible threats at all times.
They were safe with Jacob, Phoebe realized. Truly safe, both physically and emotionally. She was right to trust him, and it felt amazing.
"Mom!" Annie put her hands on her hips. "I’m hungry! Is breakfast ready?"
Right. Food. Normal things that felt good to be able to focus on. "I'm working on it!" She waved at them both, then went back to the kitchen, humming cheerfully to herself as she got breakfast together.
When she was a little girl in her messed-up home life, this was how she'd always imagined life would be when she grew up. A little family with laughter, puppies, and safety, in a beautiful home with a gorgeous lawn, freedom, and love.
Ironic that the first time she experienced it was when they were in hiding from a sociopath, but she'd take what she could get, and appreciate every moment.
Because she knew all too well that it could end at any second.
But right now, she had it, and she was going to do her best to let Annie and herself experience it fully, for whatever it was, or whatever it could be.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
"It's so great to have another woman around!" Bella Hart rode up next to Phoebe a few hours later. Bella was wearing a pink cowboy hat, and her horse was a gray, dappled mare who was energetic and a little crazy. "You're doing great!"
Phoebe smiled at Jacob's sister. The friendly woman had already broken down Phoebe's defenses in the hour they'd all been out riding. Bella was warm, funny, and there was a wisdom and understanding in her eyes that made Phoebe pretty certain that Bella had some shadows in her past that weren't too dissimilar from her own. "Thanks." She patted the neck of her horse, Ghost. "He's being nice and calm."
"Of course he is. Jacob would never let you on a horse that wouldn't take care of you." Bella reined in her horse to keep pace with Phoebe. Ahead of them were Jacob and Lucas. Annie was riding with Jacob, sitting in front of him in the saddle, and Cupcake was taking a break on a little dog sidecar that Jacob had rigged up on Lucas's horse. The two men were chatting easily, making Annie giggle, but Phoebe could see the way they both continued to scan their surroundings.
"He's a good man, isn't he?" Phoebe said.
Bella raised her brows. "Jacob? Yeah."
